Free Uncross My Heart by Austin, Andrews & Austin

horses to eat and drink without bending over. I sat my brandy on the ledge at shoulder height and placed my palms down on the jagged stone top and bowed my head. The horses came up on either side of me and stood quietly breathing warm air on my shoulders.
    Something in these animals took me back in time to a place where I felt I had fought more tangible battles. A place where people had the decency to “run you through” rather than “run you ragged,” where the horses and I had lived much closer to one another, their large spirits supporting and protecting me. These bizarre thoughts comforted rather than disturbed me—perhaps a sure sign of madness. Nonetheless, in times of joy or sorrow I often sought out the horses. Tonight they seemed to bow their heads with me in love and respect as I prayed.
    “ Dear God, I am not the best priest you have ever had in your following. I do more things wrong than right. But your love is infinite and for that I am eternally grateful. I know most people think I should be sorry for what I say or do or believe. But deep down, I cannot believe that this religion we have is what you want. Guide me, Lord. ” I held my brandy glass up as if it were a chalice and then drank as Ghostie nuzzled my neck.

Chapter Nine
    I was wrong about Gladys’s reticence to report being kissed.
    She’d fingered me without hesitation. When Hightower summoned me to his office the next day, I thought it was on a student matter and so I was caught off guard as he perspired and paced and then veritably shouted, “Did you kiss Gladys Irons?”
    My career flashed before me along with the irony that in this theological kingdom I might be forgiven a lie, a slap, a curse, but a kiss was betrayal.
    I refrained from answering Hightower’s question by artfully rephrasing it. “If I were to kiss a woman, would you imagine that it would be Gladys Irons?”
    His visage sagged and he broke eye contact. It was obvious he could not imagine it. I could see relief in the slack of his shoulders, and I wasn’t proud of myself for having so easily escaped.
    “Holy Mother of God, Alexandra, you’ve got to draw a ceasefire with Gladys Irons. You know she’s the most vocal, tediously religious tenured professor on this campus, and I do not want to have to listen to her discuss your unsuitability as a professor. First you irritate Thurgood III and now Gladys. I am beginning to wonder if this is the right venue for you. Hmm?” His eyebrows elevated about an inch and froze there as he sought an answer from me, but I didn’t know what to say. I was as tired of defending my actions as he was of experiencing them secondhand.
    “You will make peace. Once and for all.” He turned his back on me as if I had left the room. Seconds later I obliged him, going out into the lobby where Eleonor sat at her post.
    “Girl, you’re startin’ to rival Vivienne Wilde for makin’ his hair stand on end, and he doesn’t have that much.”
    “Eleonor, do you believe any two adults go to hell for consensual sex?”“Honey, some of the consensual sex I’ve had was hell. No need to travel.”
    I grinned at her. “You’re the smartest person on this campus.”
    * * *

    I walked across the commons toward the flat, low building housing the cafeteria. Off to the sides of this large, foul-smelling eatery, a row of larger rooms existed for students and faculty to reserve.
    “It’s the best way,” Dennis said, shepherding me along as one would an errant child. We turned down the long cement walkway that would end at a single glass door smeared with remnants of finger foods.
    “You’ll go, talk to her, ask forgiveness, and it’s done. Otherwise, she’ll talk about you all over campus.”
    “Kissing her was simply my frustrated alternative to driving a pencil through her head for being so maddeningly shut down. Imagine my having to apologize for kissing her to make a theological point.
    What century are we in?”
    “So when do you see