Free Cat Among the Herrings by L. C. Tyler

ended up with a broadly Tudor front, facing the track and the farmland, and a broadly Victorian rear, exposed tothe salt winds and with distant views over the sleek, green marshes and tidal flats. I parked close to the front door and rang the bell.
     
    Catarina had prepared some refreshments – strong tea flavoured with mint and very sweet cakes dripping with honey. A knowledge of eastern European cuisine might have helped me locate her place of birth.
    ‘You are late,’ she said, before I could even sit down.
    ‘I wasn’t aware we had agreed a time.’
    ‘How long does it take to get here? Not so much, I think.’
    ‘I had work to do. I am researching Robin’s ancestors.’
    ‘That will help find his killer? You think maybe some family feud? Yes, perhaps … It is like that with us too. Is not good kill somebody’s grandmother. Is worse than steal horse.’
    ‘A family feud? No. That’s not how things are here. Tom thought I might be interested professionally – as a crime writer.’
    ‘ A crime writer? ’ Elsie herself could not have said the words with greater disdain.
    ‘It’s what I am. You know that. Look, if the police won’t help, maybe you should employ a private detective?’
    ‘They do cheating husband. They do divorce. They do fraud by bastard you thought was friend. Not murder.’
    ‘You’ve tried them, then?’
    ‘They are no good. Nor are Mafia.’
    ‘You’ve tried them too?’
    ‘Of course. But I need somebody who lives here. I need somebody people will trust. People here do not trust Mafia.But if it is somebody they think is friend … Then maybe they say stupid thing and we catch them.’
    ‘You want me to cynically exploit my neighbours’ trust in me?’
    ‘Yes.’
    ‘Why should I?’
    ‘Because Robin is your friend. You are at funeral.’
    ‘Yes,’ I said. I was at funeral.
    ‘You would not wish his murderer to escape justice.’
    ‘Even if Robin was murdered …’
    ‘He was.’
    ‘Even so, I still don’t think I can help.’
    ‘But you will try.’
    ‘You don’t think the Mafia might like the first shot at it, anyway?’
    ‘You are afraid?’
    ‘I have no idea what I am getting into.’
    ‘If you are killed, I will make sure you are avenged. Ten will die in your place.’
    ‘You could really arrange that?’
    ‘Of course. Why not?’
    ‘Which ten would die?’
    ‘Any ten you wish. Send me text with names.’
    I sighed. This conversation was not going as planned. ‘You said you have new evidence?’
    ‘I think so. Is like this. This morning I go to see Robin’s lawyer. He is working on the will. I want to make sure he is not doing stupid thing – telling government how much money Robin had. He say he has good trick – quick something or other. We not pay much tax. I say good – you learn. Then, like you tell to me, I ask: who Old Man? WhyRobin say we have money when he die? He look at me odd, then say: no more money. I say, why? He say, all that finished now – Old Man and money – finished; Robin must have tell you that. I say: who is Old Man ? He say: so, Robin not tell you who is Old Man? I say, maybe. Yes, maybe he tell me. Of course. He tell me everything. I just want to know if there is money and if you know who Old Man is. He shake his head and say can’t tell me any more. I say, yes he can if he doesn’t want balls cut off. He say nothing. I say: I can have him killed – before or after balls cutting, whichever he prefer. He makes very worried but he say nothing. Then he look at me and say: you pregnant? What, I say, you mean I fat ? No, he say – you not fat but maybe have baby? I say I not some stupid village girl – I don’t just have baby . After wedding, then maybe yes. Six, seven babies, why not? But not before wedding. He think I try to trap Robin into wedding with making baby? He say no, no, no – not that. I say: what, then? Nothing, he say. Just wondering – maybe you have baby soon, even though definitely not fat. No, I say.