Free Shimmy by Kari Jones Page A

the bus was so happy that we’re all going to be dancing together. Everyone except me. Knowing that Dana wasn’t being hard on me because she wanted to cut me from the troupe makes the whole thing a lot more difficult. Maybe I should stay with Dana. It’s not as much fun, not by a long shot. She was hard on us today, really hard, but I’ve learned a lot from her. She’s taught me how to use my muscles properly, how to hear the timing of the music with precision and how to focus my mind. She makes me sweat, but it’s worth it…isn’t it?
    Now that Dana’s not going to make that decision for me, I’m going to have to make it myself.

Seventeen
    L ast class before the festival, and we’re all in our costumes. Eve looks spectacular, as we knew she would. I’m feeling uncomfort- able with my sequin-and-lace-covered bra, but Mom helped me sew it and make sure it’s secure. I’ll get used to it.
    “Again,” says Dana, and she starts the music.
    I can’t get my head into it today, and already I’ve noticed Eve glaring at me, and when Dana stops the music and says, “Lila, posture,” Eve rolls her eyes and breaks formation. She heads to the back of the room and picks up her water bottle.
    “Sorry,” I say to the class in general.
    “The festival performance is in three days, Lila,” Eve says when I reach past her for my water bottle.
    “I know.”
    “So what are you doing?”
    “Nerves, I guess. I’ll get a good night’s sleep. I’ll be fine—don’t worry.” My voice comes out sounding more annoyed than I intended it to.
    “Yeah, well, I am worried,” Eve says. “We’re meant to be acting like professionals, not falling apart.”
    “I thought we were supposed to be having fun,” I say.
    Eve shakes her head. “Well, that’s where you’re mistaken. This is my moment to shine, and I don’t want you messing it up. You’re a good dancer, Lila. Pull it together.” She swigs her water and marches back to the center of the room.
    I stand, stunned, where I am. Wow . I feel like she slapped me in the face.
    “Let’s go again, girls. We only have a couple more minutes before my next class starts. Let’s try to get through in one run this time,” Dana says.
    I concentrate hard and make it through the dance without messing up. When the music ends, Dana says, “Well done, girls. I’ve worked you hard for the past few weeks, and I know it’s been tough on some of you”—she glances at me—“but you look fantastic. Truly. You’re going to stun the audience. So on Saturday, eat well in the morning, relax, and I’ll see you at the theater an hour before curtain.”
    I still feel slapped as I put on my shoes, and when Robin asks me if I want to go to her house to run through the song a couple more times, I shake my head. I’m not sure what will happen if I open my mouth and try to speak, so I don’t.
    “You okay, Lila?” Robin asks.
    Though my voice is shaky, I say, “Eve told me I need to pull it together . She doesn’t want me messing things up for her tomorrow.”
    Robin leans across our bags and hugs me. “Ignore Eve. She’s the one who’s totally stressed out. She has no right to say that to you.”
    “Thanks, Robin,” I say.
    She keeps her arm around me as we walk out the door and onto the street. Alex joins us on the street, and the three of us get onto the bus. We’re all pretty tired out from today’s practice, so we’re quiet as we ride along. When my stop comes, Robin says, “Sure you don’t want to come over for more practice?”
    “Yeah. I’m sure,” I say.
    There’s only one thing I want to do, and that’s talk to Angela.
    * * *
    Angela’s mom answers the door. “Lila, what happened?” she asks. “Angela was so upset when she came back from your house the other day. She hasn’t been herself ever since.”
    “I know,” I say to my feet.
    She wipes her hands on a tea towel and says, “I’ll go see if she wants to talk to you.”
    From the hallway I can