Free Shimmy by Kari Jones Page B

hear Angela’s mom knocking and calling out, “Angela, Lila’s here.” I can’t catch Angela’s response, but her bedroom door opens, and Angela’s mom walks inside the room, closing the door behind her. I lean into the hallway and try to breathe normally. I think I was about five the last time I had to wait here.
    “Hi,” Angela says a few minutes later when she comes down the stairs. She stands on the bottom step with her arms folded.
    “I’m sorry,” I say.
    She doesn’t move.
    “I’m not better than you. Dana’s not better than Amala,” I say.
    She shifts, so I add, “And the truth is, I’m confused about what I want. That’s why I was being so mean. Because I was upset.”
    “I talked to Nini before I said I’d go to Mexico with Jonas’s family,” Angela says, still without unfolding her arms. “She was upset, but she said she understood.”
    “Okay.” I still don’t understand how she can go away instead of dancing in the festival, but I don’t say that.
    “And I talked to Amala too.”
    “What did she say?”
    “She said you never can tell where your heart is going to take you, and that I should definitely follow my heart.”
    I take a step toward her and say, “But you love dancing. You’ve always loved dancing.”
    “But not performing. I’ve never liked performing. You know that, Lila.”
    “So you’re not giving up dance?”
    “Of course not.” Angela finally unfolds her arms and sits down on the bottom step.
    I sit next to her and say, “So you’re going to keep dancing with Amala, and you’re not going to perform, and you really don’t care about being a professional dancer?”
    “Yeah.”
    “I wish I could decide what I want,” I say.
    “You already know. You want to be a dancer. Professional. And you’re good enough too,” Angela says.
    “I wish it were that simple. The problem is, I don’t like Dana’s classes. Actually, it’s not that I don’t like them, it’s that keeping up with her class is making me give up everything else. I haven’t done any homework for weeks. I practice all the time, and I still screw up.”
    “Maybe that’s what it takes to become a professional dancer,” Angela says.
    “That’s the problem. Is it worth it? I might have to redo English and maybe math. And I miss you and Sarit and Nini. It’s not that fun at Dana’s.”
    Angela nods and leans back against the second step. “I miss you too. It’s not the same without you there.”
    “I could come back…”
    “You mean leave Dana’s studio? Isn’t it what you always wanted?”
    “It’s everything but fun.”
    “You gotta have fun, Lila, or else why bother?”
    “Yeah,” I say. “Exactly.”
    I take a strand of Angela’s long hair and wrap it around my wrist. We sit like that until her mom calls Angela to help her in the kitchen, and I get up to leave.
    “You won’t see me dancing if you’re in Mexico,” I say.
    “I know. I’m sad about that. But I’ll be swimming in the warm ocean and hanging out with Jonas and his family, so I’m not too sad.”
    “Have a fantastic time, Angela. I mean it.”
    “Thanks.” Angela smiles from head to toe and gives me a huge hug.

Eighteen
    “T hank goodness you’re here,” Eve says when I enter the change room on the morning of the festival.
    “I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much bright fabric and sparkly jewelry in one place before,” I say. Every inch of the floor is covered in piles of scarves and skirts and bloomers. Girls and women have their faces plastered to the mirrors as they put on makeup and fake eyelashes and pin flowers in their hair.
    Eve motions me to a corner where Alex and Robin are both half undressed. Robin waves her bra at me and says, “Help me strap myself into this thing.”
    “Everyone in costume in five minutes. We’re doing a run-through onstage in ten,” Eve says.
    I’ve got my bra on under my hoodie, so all I have to do is pull on my skirt and make sure my hair’s in