Free Chained by Tessa Escalera

sick. Travis noticed I wasn't eating so he stayed here and forced me to eat my food and swallow my vitamin in front of him.  It came back up before he even left the cell. 
     
    Maybe my body is just giving up. 
     
    Day 17: 
     
    God, why?  Why won't you just let me die? 
     
    Travis is still letting Jenny into my room to help me with the lashes on my back.  She says tomorrow I have to take the test.  She says she's tired of listening to me puke through her wall. 
     
    I know I'm not pregnant.  I can't be. 
     
     
    The next morning Jenny woke me by shaking my shoulder.  I startled awake and immediately had to run to the bathroom, where what little was in my stomach reappeared into the toilet.
     
    Once the spasms passed I sat on the floor with my forehead on the edge of the toilet seat, for once grateful for the coolness of the porcelain.  Jenny stood in the doorway with little Hannah in her arms, regarding me with no expression on her face.
     
    “You need to do it, Sarah.  You need to know.”
     
    I tried to get up, but my stomach heaved and I settled back onto the floor.  Past Jenny I could see Travis, sitting at the chair in front of my desk.  He had been much colder to me ever since my failed escape.  I guess I couldn't really blame him.
     
    “I don't want to know.”
     
    Jenny glanced over her shoulder at Travis then turned back to me.  Her voice was lower as she replied.  “You need to do it.  If you keep doing this, not eating, you are going to die.  And even if you don't, Master only gives a certain number of chances before he decides you aren't worth keeping around.”
     
    That last sentence shocked me out of my misery.  “What?”
     
    Jenny nodded.  “I can guarantee whatever he does with you then would be far worse than dying of starvation.  Take the test.”
     
    Resigned to the fact that she wasn't going to leave me alone, I sighed and pushed myself up to perch on the edge of the tub.  At the very least, I would take it just so I didn't have to listen to her all day.  I didn't have energy for that.  “Fine.  Go out.”
     
    “You better not...”
     
    “I'll take it.  But I'm not gonna do it with you watching.  Out.”
     
    A minute later I emerged with the stick in my hand, test window turned where I couldn't see it.  I handed it to Jenny and crawled onto my cot, curling up around the knot of pain in my stomach.  “I can't look.”
     
    I watched as Jenny watched the stick, her face unreadable, jiggling Hannah in her other arm.  Eventually she sighed and showed the test to Travis, who nodded and stood up.  “I'll be outside.  Let me know when you're ready to go back to your room.
     
    “You can go,”  I said when Jenny turned to me and opened her mouth.  “I don't want to know.  Just go, please.”
     
    Jenny obviously didn't agree, but she complied.  She placed Hannah next to me for a moment so that I could give the baby a kiss, then she left. 
     
    I got up long enough to turn my light up before curling back up on the cot, I pulled my gown down over my feet, trying to get warm.
     
    I didn't need to see the test. 
     
    Whether I wanted to admit it or not, I already knew the answer.
     
     
     
     
     
     

Chapter 9:  Child of Sorrows
     
     
    Day 21:  They say war is like long periods of unbearable boredom punctuated by moments of sheer terror. 
     
    Abuse is like that too.  Moments of incredible pain, fear, darkness.  Then days and days of nothing.  There are times where you relax, where everything seems almost normal.  Moments of peace before the cycle starts again. Every morning I wake in fear, certain he's here to hurt me again.  But I am alone.  Sometimes Travis is here bringing my food, sometimes not. 
     
    I haven't seen Master since the day he beat me.  I know I should be grateful, but all I can do is worry about when he will come back. 
     
    It's amazing what food does to a person's outlook on life.  Travis brought me the