Free Turn Us Again by Charlotte Mendel

injustice then what type of establishment is it? “How dare you leave in the middle of the day?” Anne mimicked Matron’s voice, “Obey me or this will be your last day of training.” The train station loomed ahead, and Anne was overwhelmed with a desire to see her mother. It took exactly ten minutes to slip into her room and change, shoving a few things into a bag quietly, so as not to wake Louise.
    â€˜You’ll be sorry you kicked me out,’ she thought as she boarded the train for Newcastle.
    Anne’s parents lived in a row house, in a long line of identical houses. Upon entering, one faced a flight of steps flanked by a long dark corridor. Doors off this corridor led to the drawing room and the dining room, with the kitchen at the end. The interior always smelled of cabbage and potatoes.
    Anne’s father, Eddie, bellowed out in joy when he saw her, bounding down the steps, followed by their black spaniel Pippa. He enveloped her in a warm embrace while Pippa leapt up and down in an excess of passion. Her mother came out from the kitchen, lifting her cheek up for a kiss, undemonstrative and contained as usual. Looking so tired, always so tired.
    A plate of bread and butter and the inevitable pot of tea were brought into the drawing room, where special guests were served. Anne wanted to get the main issue off her chest, so she could begin to enjoy such indulgences.
    â€œI walked out of Casualty this morning. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do, and it was unbearable standing around, waiting to see if anything awful would come through the door. There are often terrible accidents in Casualty!”
    â€œOh it must be hard, you poor lass,” said her dad, who sympathized with any human weakness. “I couldn’t do a job like that myself.”
    â€œWhat do you mean you ‘walked out’?” asked her mother.
    â€œI mean I walked out,” said Anne irritably. “I just left.”
    â€œWhat will happen now?”
    â€œI’ll probably be booted out. I don’t know!”
    â€œOh come on, Mary,” said her dad, watching the clouds cross his daughter’s smooth brow. “She’s just come home. Let her get a bit of tea into her.”
    After they had finished Eddie went to the pub, as he did every evening, slinking out of the house with a guilty expression. Sometimes he came back after a drink or two, looking pleased with himself and strutting around the house in an ‘aren’t-I-a-good-boy’ fashion. Sometimes he wouldn’t come back for hours. Today was a ‘good boy’ day, in honour of Anne’s return.
    Mary did not refer to the subject of Anne’s walk-out again, but Anne was aware of her worried expression. She went to bed early that night, dashing off a quick note of explanation to Louise, and then settling down with a notebook, which would have to suffice till she returned to the hospital for her diary.
    I have left the hospital due to the intolerable treatment of Matron. Am I a dog, to crawl back for another kick? Am I a coward? There was just one course of action open to me, unless I am to bow my head and say:
    First they came for the Jews
    and I did not speak out
    because I was not a Jew.
    Then they came for the communists
    and I did not speak out
    because I was not a communist.
    Then they came for the trade unionists
    and I did not speak out
    because I was not a trade unionist.
    Then they came for me
    and there was no one left
    to speak out for me.
    People do not speak out enough in our world. They are too frightened. Mummy does not see it this way, and she is suffering on my behalf. I must remember that Mummy’s life is hard and she cannot escape, as I have. Daddy seems to be drinking as much as ever, same old tension in the house. I should be brimming with sympathy and love for my mother, instead of irritation. Yet, yet … there is something cold and repellent in the way she deals with life.