Free Until the Sun Burns Out by Amber Garza

resigned.
    “You lied to us,” I stated. “You said you moved here for us, but it was for her.”
    Dad shook his head. “I didn’t lie. You and Luca were part of the reason, you just weren’t the whole reason.”
    It was the worst thing he could say. There was a time when we were his entire reason for everything. It hurt to know that wasn’t the case anymore. When I felt the familiar quivering of my bottom lip, I swiftly chomped down on it, scolding it into obedience. I didn’t want to cry again. I was so sick of crying. “Does Mom know?”
    “Yes, she does.”
    It was like a sucker punch. “She lied to me too?”
    “I asked her not to tell you. Please don’t blame her.”
    “Oh, trust me.” I laughed bitterly. “I don’t blame her for any of this. I know it was all you.”
    “That’s not fair either, Mina.”
    “And this is fair?” I swept my arms around, indicating where we were. “It’s fair that you moved away to be with another woman?”
    He pressed his lips together. “I’m sorry, Mina. I don’t know what else to say.”
    I stared at him for a minute realizing that there was nothing else he could say. I didn’t even know what I wanted from him anymore. Deep down I wanted him to go back to being my hero. I wanted to go back to when I thought he was perfect, that he could do no wrong. But those days had vanished. I would never think that about him again. Now I knew he had flaws. I knew he had the capability to make mistakes and poor choices.
    But more than that, I knew he had the ability to hurt me.
    And that was the thing I had to process. The thing I had to find a way to get past. Because if I couldn’t, I didn’t know if I’d ever be close to my dad again.
     
    ***
     
    I thought the beach was most beautiful early in the morning when the sun rose, its rays stretching out over the surface of the water. It was also the only time of day that I could walk along the sand almost entirely alone. There were always a few joggers or people walking their dogs, but for the most part the beach was empty. It gave me time to think, time to enjoy the beauty of it all. Kicking off my sandals, I ran my toes along the sand, savoring the silky feel of it. Later it would be so hot I’d want to keep my shoes on, but right now it was perfect. Glancing up at the sky, I allowed the breeze to feather over my skin.
    “You’re still here.”
    Austin’s voice startled me, and I flinched. When my pulse lowered resuming its normal cadence, I looked at him, my heart instantly melting at the sight of his tousled hair and piercing eyes. “I told you I wouldn’t leave without talking to you first.”
    “Yeah, but you were so upset that I wasn’t sure if you’d keep your promise.” He stood awkwardly, his legs parted slightly. His gaze lowered as he shoved his fingers into the pocket of his shorts. “I couldn’t sleep until I knew if you were staying or not.”
    I’d never seen Austin like this. Vulnerable. Unsure. A bit shy. It threw me. “You could’ve texted,” I pointed out, wondering why he hadn’t.
    “I did,” he said, and my heart dipped.
    “Oh, that’s right. My mom called and I didn’t want to talk to her, so I sort of turned my phone off.” I’d been so upset that I never remembered to turn it back on. “I’m sorry.”
    He shrugged. “Hey, I understand. But you still haven’t answered my question. Are you staying or not?”
    I nodded. “Yeah, I’m staying.”
    Relief swept over his face, and it made me wonder if I’d misjudged our relationship. I always assumed I was nothing more than his summer friend, but his expression in this moment said something different. I imagined it was how I would look if he took off, if he left me for the remainder of the summer. But surely he didn’t feel for me what I felt for him.
    “Does this mean that the talk with your dad went okay?” he asked.
    I wasn’t sure how to answer that. It’s not that the conversation went poorly. Dad told the truth. I