Free A Quiet Strength by Janette Oke Page A

and emotions traveled on to shame. She’d had no right to lash out at Jonathan as she had. He was doing all he could to give her the home she wanted. He had warned her that it would take long hours. Many days. But still , she mourned, isn’t there some way he could give me a bit more of his time? His attention?
    Her words to him, however cruel and biting, had been true. She had been feeling them for a long time. Trying to force them down, fight them back. It wasn’t an accusation without foundation. But it had been unfair. It had been said in the wrong manner. Surely she could have discussed her feelings in a reasonable fashion. What if she had killed his love? What if he no longer cared to express his love even in those times when they were able to be together? She would die without Jonathan. Just wither and die. She loved him so much. Even when she was angry with him, as she was now, the thought of losing him was more than she could endure.
    Virginia mentally worked her way through her problem from every angle and always came back to the same unwanted conclusion: She had acted like a shrew. With plenty of reason , she would quickly attempt to excuse herself. But it was unkind, unlovely , she would reproach herself again. Back and forth her troubled thoughts tumbled. On the one hand, there was no reason good enough for her to have acted as she did. To have spoken as she did. Jonathan was giving of his best—himself—for her. But Jonathan was not being fair to treat a new bride as though she barely existed. Jonathan paid far more attention to his aging grandmother than he did to her. Yet it was his caring and gentle spirit that had attracted her to him in the first place. Well, why didn’t he have time to show her the same concern he showed others?
    Virginia was having an inner argument that either way she would lose.

    Virginia could not wait for the day to end, yet she dreaded its ending. She could not wait for Jonathan to come home, yet feared his coming. She fidgeted and fretted and paced about the kitchen until Grandmother Withers said, “Is something wrong, dear?”
    Virginia could not answer with a lie so she said nothing in reply.
    “It’s been a long day for you, hasn’t it? It’s always that way when one has extra time and no way to fill it. I know. I used to nearly go crazy for my Damaris on those days when I couldn’t pour my heart and soul into my work. Sundays. I never allowed myself ordinary work on Sunday. But I had no church service to attend. No real understanding about why one went to church. Just a hanging on to the past. A knowledge that my mother and father felt that church was important. That the Sabbath, the day of rest, be honored. So I just lolled about on Sunday. Agitated and wishing the hours to end. I was so thankful to go off to bed knowing that the next morning would bring me more work than I could handle in a single day.”
    Virginia listened. She was relieved that the elderly woman did not understand what her real problem was. All the same, Virginia was more than thankful to retire early. Perhaps if she tried hard, she could be asleep by the time Jonathan returned home.

CHAPTER  7
    V irginia was awakened by Jonathan’s arms drawing her close. She stirred, then snuggled against him, struggling for wakefulness and understanding. “Virginia,” she heard his voice next to her ear, “we need to talk.”
    Virginia pulled back and tried to see his face in the dark? ness of their bedroom. “What is it?” she asked sleepily. “Are you all right?”
    His arms tightened around her, drawing her close again. “Are you awake?”
    She mumbled against his chest. Her body insisted that it was the middle of the night.
    He kissed her forehead. “Go back to sleep,” he said softly. “We’ll talk tomorrow. We both need to be wide awake to sort this out.”
    Suddenly Virginia was jolted out of her dreamy state. Jona? than was back from the farm. They’d had a disagreement before he’d