Free Summer Solstice by Vanessa Lockley Page B

but deep down feeling like he had every right to be upset.
     
    The story ended with Seth agreeing to steer clear of me for awhile if it meant that my brother wouldn't kill him and Seth leaving for the bar that night to get good and trashed.
     
    Rich looked down at his watch after finishing his lengthy story and stood up from the couch. "I need to get back to the airport."
     
    "You aren't staying?" I asked.
     
    Rich shook his head. "I have to work tomorrow. I flew out here today because I knew I had to talk to you and it had to be face to face."
     
    I stood up and hugged my brother. "Thanks for stopping by," I joked.
     
    "Thanks for having me."
     
    I walked Rich to the door and was about to say goodbye, when he reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope. "This is for you," he said, shoving it at me.
     
    "What is it?" I asked, taking the envelope. My name and address was written on the front, but there was no stamp.
     
    Rich laughed. "It's a letter that I found in Seth's room. I was looking for the electric bill and came across this instead. Apparently, he was too scared to mail it to you. I figured you should read it."
     
    I looked from the envelope to Rich and gave him a small smile. "Thanks."
     
    He gave me one more hug. "One more thing," he said, as he pulled away. I nodded, willing him to go on. "Because Seth's thrown himself into his work, he's won some prestigious teaching award. His mom's having a party for him at their house two days from now. I think it'd mean a lot to him if you could make it. I know it'll take awhile for me to get used to the idea of you two together, but I know you'd make him happy and I know he'd make you happy. And hell, Lexi, that's what I want most for you."
     
    We said goodbye again and when Rich was gone, I shut the door to my apartment, my attention once again getting drawn to the envelope in my hands.
     
    Walking over to my couch, I sat down nervously, opened up the envelope, and began to read.
     
    Lexi-
     
    I can't tell you how many times I've sat down and written this letter and how many times I've ripped it right back up again once it was finished. I know I shouldn't be telling you in a letter how I feel, but I want to respect your wishes and leave you alone, since that's obviously what you really feel is best for you. At the same time, I can't just sit back when there's still so much I have to tell you that I never got to say or to explain.
     
    You told me that night in the parking lot that you felt I was just in love with the idea of you, which is so ridiculous, that I could kick myself for not speaking up when you said it.
     
    The honest truth, Lexi, is that I've been in love with you for years. I can't tell you how hard it was to stay silent for so long and pretend like I felt nothing but platonic feelings for you, when all I wanted to do was shout my declaration from a rooftop so that everyone knew.
     
    And then, when we finally crossed that line this summer, it seemed like everything I thought would never happen was suddenly a possibility and maybe, just maybe, you could love me too.
     
    When Rich confronted me the morning after we made love, I was dumbfounded. I felt awful about lying to my best friend, but I feel worse about how I handled the situation with you. I agreed to stay away from you until your brother could get used to the idea of us.
     
    I never should have ignored you, just like I never should have gone to the bar that night and gotten wasted and hit on that girl right in front of you. You had no idea what had gone on with Rich and I was just so upset over the whole thing that I figured I'd deal with relationship trouble the way that I had in high school: like an idiot.
     
    But please, Lexi. Know that I mean it when I say that I didn't sleep with that girl. After you left the bar, I went home. Alone. Because that girl wasn't you, would never be you and it would have made me feel fifty times worse.
     
    The truth is that I care about you so