Free Summer Solstice by Vanessa Lockley

years, I dreamed that you'd say those three words to me," I told him honestly. "Because for years, I've been so crazy about you, but if the last few days are any indication, we'd be terrible for one another."
     
    "Don't say that," he whispered.
     
    "But it's true. We knew how Rich was going to react and chose to ignore it even though we knew how upset it would make him. So I think we both secretly knew deep down that when he found out, it would be over.
     
    "But I'm not going to be the thing that stands between you and Rich," I continued. "I could never live with that." I opened up my car door, wanting to protect my best friend and get her home in one piece and I couldn't stand feeling my heart break around Seth any longer. "And I just don't think that I could ever get over seeing you with that girl the other night. I may have danced with that guy at the club, but you took it beyond that."
     
    Seth shook his head adamantly. "Lexi, I love you," he said simply, his arms wide as if he was offering the only thing he knew that I wanted: himself.
     
    "But maybe you don't," I whispered, the words and the thought breaking my heart because I was totally, irreversibly, one hundred percent in love with him. "Maybe it was the thrill of getting caught of sneaking around, of having the one thing you knew you shouldn't. All I know is the second Rich supposedly found my panties on the floor, you ran. You didn't stand up to him and you kept it from me, the person you supposedly love. So maybe you don't really love me, Seth, but the idea of me."
     
    Stepping towards my open car door, I turned to look at him once more. "I get that you didn't want to involve me in the situation with Rich, but I already was involved. I was involved with you, which means that we should have dealt with Rich together. Instead, you ignored me and found comfort in some girl you met at the bar … and I'm sorry, but I just can't forgive you for that."
     
    And once that was said, I knew that I had to leave. "See you around, Seth," I whispered and climbed into the front seat of the car and then drove away.
     
    ten.
    October.
     
    "So how's your paper coming?" I asked Sarah over the phone as I lazily flicked through the channels on my television.
     
    "Oh God," she groaned, then launched in to a ten minute long rant about her paper topic and the hard time she was having finding such obscure sources.
     
    After I'd driven her home that night after the scene in the bar, she'd spilled everything to me. How she'd been at the bar getting drunk over a botched mid-term and how Rich had been there. The two of them got inebriated together and she went home with him. It was a one-time deal and she kept reassuring me that she had no hidden crush on my brother.
     
    And I meant what I said before. I really wasn't mad at her. Sure, I was a bit freaked out that she and my brother had had sex, but I wasn't her mother. I wasn't going to chastise her for it, especially when it was so obvious how guilty she felt about the whole thing.
     
    Rich on the other hand was a whole different story. We'd pretty much steered clear of one another until I'd left for school. I think he knew how upset I was with him and his hypocrisy.
     
    "Just shoot me and get it over with," Sarah moaned, bringing me back into the present.
     
    "No thanks," I said, turning the channel on the television once again. "I think I'll keep you around even if you don't want to be."
     
    We chatted for a few more minutes before hanging up.
     
    Being away from home for a while had allowed me to clear my head. It helped that the drama was halfway across the country. It also helped having tons of schoolwork to do in order to finish up my degree a semester early.
     
    Also, not having the distraction of worrying about running into Seth or Rich made getting over the whole thing much simpler.
     
    That's not to say I was over Seth.
     
    No. For some reason, the love I had for him just wouldn't die. The absence made it grow