Free Beautifying Bernadette: A BBW Romantic Comedy (The Jackson Tribe Book 1) by Delia Grace Page B

really good, and we snuggled and it all seemed to be going perfectly, only then I got all… self-conscious and he didn’t like it, and started whaling on my ass with a wooden spoon or something. And, he just kept going and it hurt like hell and I didn’t like it, and I told him to leave and never come back. And he did. He just left. So, I’ll never be seeing him again ‘cause I fucked it all up. Just like I fuck up every single fucking thing in my whole entire fucking life…”
    Ashley glared at her—she was used to Bernie’s self-deprecation, but it didn’t mean she liked it. “Bea, stop it. You’re not a fuck up, and my bet is you didn’t even fuck up this one thing. If he liked you as much as it seemed like he did, he isn’t going to drop it just because you got bitchy. Were you being bitchy? Or were you scared? Why do you think you pushed him away?”
    Bernie started to shrug, and then realized that Ash was her best friend and deserved an answer. She was safe. “I’m not sure. I mean, when I was pushing him away to start, it was just that he is perfect. I mean, Ash, he is like six feet, strong, slim, perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect job, perfect family, perfectly dommy, perfect in every way and look at me. No!” She could see Ash was about to stop her. “Look! I know you’re my best friend, but I could fit three of you in one of my body and that's without you even scrunched up. I am a slob. I don’t make a lot of money. I would be a terrible submissive. I fucking puked on him, Ash. And I don’t even remember it! Why would he want someone like me?”
    Then the tone to her voice changed a little, from angry to contemplative. “But he spanked me. I don’t know what happened. Part of me was like ‘oh my God he really cares; he wants me enough to spank me for being down on myself.’ But then I got really scared like, it really hurt, Ash. It hurt a lot. And he is bigger than me and stronger than me. I couldn’t stop him. And I just got scared. And worried and… I don’t even know. I just needed him to leave.”
    Ashley listened patiently, nodding where appropriate and giving encouraging “mmhmms” where needed.
    Once it seemed that Bernie was caught up on what she needed to say, Ashley asked in a dry tone, “Are you quite done? Let’s start at the beginning. You could not in fact fit three of me into your body. And, even if you could, who gives a flying fuck? You are curvy and hot, you have epic boobs and a very pert ass. Levi apparently thought it was so perfect he couldn’t keep his hands off of it by your own account and dreamt about you for months having never seen your ass. Secondly, you have a great personality, you’re giving, you’re patient, you’re an incredible counselor, you’re a spectacular friend, and you’re funny as hell. You’re super smart. You have a lot to give. You just need to stop putting yourself down. Literally, your greatest flaw is that you insist on putting yourself down. If anyone said the shit about my bestie that you do, I’d lay them out. I would take my earrings out, tie up my braids, and lay them the fuck out. Got it?”
    Bernie bit her lip with a blushing smile and nodded.
    Ashley continued, “Also, any man who wants you, is going to have to work his ass off because you are worth it. You deserve to get the guy. You deserve to have your dreams come true. And if Levi is the one who can fulfill those dreams, then I suggest you track him down and throw yourself at his feet. He’s religious, right? Pull a Ruth; climb into his bed and fuck him, so he can’t wonder if you actually want him.”
    Bernie started giggling imagining showing up in his bed naked. She didn’t think she could ever do something so bold and drastic, but it was a funny thought. By this point, they had pulled into the empty parking lot at the club and next to Ashley’s car. “But, I don’t even know his number. I have no way to get back in contact with him. And besides, what would