Free Every Seventh Wave by Daniel Glattauer Page A

beginning.
    Have a nice evening. And thanks for writing!
    Emmi
    Ten minutes later
    Re:
    What? Have you moved out, Emmi? Have you and Bernhard separated?
    Two hours later
    Re:
    I’ve moved out, I’ve stepped back a little. I’ve put some distance between myself and Bernhard. The physical space that separates us now reflects the kind of relationship he and I have had for the past two years. I’m trying to ensure that the children don’t suffer as a result. I still want to be there for them whenever they need me. The new circumstances are awful for Jonas. You should see his face when he asks me why I never spend the night at home anymore. I say: “Papa and I aren’t getting along very well at the moment.” Jonas says: “But at night that shouldn’t make any difference.” And I say: “It does when all that separates you is a thin wall.” He says: “Then I’ll swap bedrooms with you. I don’t mind if there’s only a thin wall between me and Papa.” What is one supposed to say to that?
    Bernhard recognizes his failings and deficiencies. He’s ashamed. He’s contrite, defeated, completely wiped out. He’s trying to salvage what he can, while I try to identify if there is anything that can be salvaged. We’ve talked so much over the past few months, but unfortunately it’s come several years too late. We’ve peeped behind the facade of our relationship for the very first time, and it looks musty and desolate. It’s never been worked on, never cleaned, never aired, everything in a state of decay. Can we ever make amends?
    We also talked a lot about you, Leo. But I’ll only tell you what we said if you really want to know. (The fact that you’ll obviously want to know means that we’ll stay in email contact. That’s my cunning plan!) I don’t want to put any pressure on you, but my therapist is convinced that you’re very good for me. She says: “I really don’t understand why you spend so much money on sessions with me. You get it all for nothing with your Leo Leike. So why don’t you do yourself a favor and make more of an effort with him!” So I’m doing myself a favor and making more of an effort with you, Leo dear. And you’re extremely welcome to make a bit more of an effort with me in return.
    Good night.
    The following evening
    Subject: (no subject)
    Dear Emmi,
    I’m flattered your psychotherapist thinks I’m capable of replacing her. (“For nothing” would be too cheap, of course, but I’d make you an excellent offer.) And naturally I’m delighted that she, at least, is convinced I’m good for you. But would you be so kind as to ask her whether she can give me assurances that you’re good for me too?
    Lots of love,
    Leo
    One hour later
    Re:
    She’s only thinking about my well-being, Leo, not yours. If you don’t know what’s good for you and want to find out, you’ll have to get your own therapist. I highly recommend it, by the way, but you’d probably think it too extravagant.
    Have a nice evening,
    Emmi
    P.S.: Oh, by the way, Leo, I’d love to hear how you are. Can’t you tell me anything? Won’t you drop a few hints, at least?
    Please!!
    Half an hour later
    Re:
    Hint 1: I’ve had a cold for three weeks.
    Hint 2: I’ve only got three more weeks on my own.
    Hint 3: Pamela (“Pam”) is coming. And staying.
    Ten minutes later
    Re:
    Well, that’s a surprise! Congratulations, Leo, and richly deserved! (I’m referring to “Pam,” of course, not the cold.)
    Best regards,
    Emmi
    Five minutes later
    Re:
    I’m reminded of the question we asked each other some months back, but never answered. It was: Did anything change as a result of our meeting? For my part, yes! Ever since I’ve been able to picture your face when reading your messages, I can guess much more quickly the mood you’re