Free Blind Impulse by Kathryn Loch

much more, an escape from the pain and a journey into delight.
    Father Thomas cleared his throat.
    The beautiful picture dissolved.  Darkness swallowed the colors and the ache of loneliness returned.  He stood soli tary in a black void, forever to remain.  Garin hauled himself back , wondering what had gotten into him.  He released Alyna, abruptly ashamed of himself.  But to his surprise Alyna wrapped her arm in his and gently but discreetly guided him into the small c hapel for mass and communion.
    They returned to the keep for the revel and Garin’s headache intensified.  He refused all food and drink not wanting to make a fool of himself.  In the brief time of his recovery, he had discovered himself a fumbling clod, una ble to find his napkin, determine which plates held what, and spilling his wine cup every time he tried to lift it to his lips. 
    But when Alyna knelt before him and offered him a cup of wine he could not refuse.  She gently wrapped his hand around the fin e golden chalice, her fingers lingering over his.  He was pleased he did not spill it when he took a drink.
    “ Garin,” she said softly.  “Are you all right?”
    He thought about lying to her but abruptly decided against it.  “Nay, Alyna, I am sorry.”
    “’ Tis too much noise, isn’t it?”
    “ Aye.”
    He was surprised when she took the cup from him and set it aside.  “Come,” she said tugging on his arm.  “Let’s go upstairs.”
    “ But the guests....”
    “ They are already well into their cups.  We do not need the fiasco of the beddi ng ceremony to add to the mayhem.  We can slip away unnoticed.”
    Garin was only too happy to allow her to lead him away.  But now he would be expected to consummate the marriage.  He froze on the stairs.
    “ Garin?”
    His hand went to his head. “I’m just a bit d izzy.”  It wasn’t a lie.  She tugged his arm over her shoulders and pressed herself against his side.  Garin marveled at how well she fit next to him.  She tucked perfectly under his arm as if God had made her specifically for him.  They continued to the r oyal apartments which had been rearranged for them.
    The solar was huge but Garin did not like the place.  This had been his parents’ room for so long it felt like sacrilege to enter with a woman who was now his wife.  At least his own room he knew, he coul d somehow get his bearings but in here he was lost.
    Alyna closed the door and sighed softly.  He felt a pang of guilt.  How hard was this for her? 
    “ I never knew I’d appreciate silence so much,” she said.
    Garin felt his lips quirk upward.  He wanted to si t down.  Actually, he wanted to crawl in bed and sleep until his head stopped hurting but he didn’t even know where the bed stood.
    “ It’s going to take some time for you to memorize this room,” Alyna said touching his arm.  “About five paces straight ahead from the door is the bed.”  She guided him to it. 
    He was surprised to find a huge bed, much larger than his parents ever owned.
    “ This is your mother’s gift to us,” Alyna said directing his hands.  “She had it made by one of the finest woodworkers in the barony.” 
    He touched one of the bedposts, feeling the smooth wood under his fingers. 
    “ It is a deep red cherry wood and has dark blue velvet curtains.  The canopy,” she pushed his hand up, “is intricately carved.  You can reach it, I can’t unless I get o n the bed.” 
    His fingers traveled over the carvings and he frowned.  It took a moment for him to realize the picture.  “It is a hunt scene.”
    “ Aye,” Alyna said happily. 
    Satisfaction swept over him.  Perhaps there was a chance for him yet.
    Alyna guided hi m to the huge table near the hearth, describing everything with amazing clarity, then to the other furniture.  She always based the next discovery off the previous.  Garin discovered he was able to mentally map out the room quite easily.
    She returned to th e bed and