Free Free Fall by MJ Eason

same desperate need inside of me that drove him on, beyond future regrets.
    There was no finesse. He pushed inside me and gathered his breath. Roc slowed the deep thrusts when he tasted my tears against his lips.
    “Don’t,” he groaned against my mouth. “Please Rainie, don’t cry. Please just let me love you this one last time.”
    I didn’t stop him because I couldn’t. I wanted these last moments with him but I couldn’t stop crying either. He understood that I was hurting. So was he.
    I ached inside at the inevitable. With the end in sight, I wanted to stop time, hold onto this moment. Pray for it to go on forever.
    Even though my body shook with sobs, it didn’t stop me from matching Roc’s need, kiss for kiss, and stroke for stroke. Touch for touch.
    My legs wrapped around his waist, allowing him deeper access, but still it wasn’t close enough to touch his heart.
    My tongue tangled with his, my hands skimmed across the tense muscles of his back, igniting a dangerous hunger inside and weakening his will to hold on to the moment.
    “Roc…” His name sounded like a sob torn from me. I just wanted to look at him. Memorize every inch of him for the dark days ahead. Hold onto this feeling forever. But under his masterful touch, I was losing the will to hold on. My treacherous body tensed, then arched closer to his. Roc lifted his head and watched me climax beneath him. The sight of it sent him tumbling over the edge as well.
    For a long time, neither of us seemed capable of breathing, much less moving. Roc’s weight lying heavy against me never felt more welcoming.
    He let me go and rolled away before gathering me close. So many things ran through my head. But he said them first.
    “I wish…” he whispered into the silence between us.
    “What?” I turned my head to look at him.
    “I wish I’d never touched you, Rainie.” At his confession, I started to cry once more. I tried to push him away, but he wasn’t prepared to let me go just yet.
    He gathered me close, his hands stroking down my back. “I’m sorry. I just never imagined it would hurt this much.”
    “Roc.” I tried to speak but the tears were still too close.
    “I know I’ve hurt you. I can’t tell you how this makes me feel. I never meant to, Rainie. You have to believe me.”
    “I know that.”
    “I should go. I’m only upsetting you by remaining. If I stay, I’ll want to…”
    “Roc, don’t!”
    He untangled my clinging arms. Sitting up, he brushed a thumb over the tears clinging to my cheek.
    “Roc. Please don’t go.”
    He touched my face gently. “You look so beautiful.”
    I turned my lips against his palm and kissed it.
    "Rainie.” My name tore from his lips.
    “Don’t go. Please. Don’t leave, Roc. It doesn’t have to be like this.”
    I could see hope take life inside of him briefly and then it was gone. “It does. We both know that it does. I can’t stay, Rainie. I have to go.”
    “Roc, no!” I rose to my knees, uncaring that I was naked before him, and he couldn’t take his eyes off me.
    “I have to go, Rainie. I have a job to do.” He reached for the clothing he’d left scattered near the bed.
    Roc dressed and turned to look at me one last time. Then he walked out of my bedroom without saying a single word. But then no words were necessary. We both knew this was goodbye.

Chapter 5
    When I awoke the following morning, I was alone in bed. Roc was gone. I knew even before I called his house that he’d left on assignment already.
    In the reality of this new day, the previous things I’d believed mattered no longer had much importance in my life. It’s funny how losing someone you love changes your perspective on life.
    I’d never make it through this day if I thought about all the things I’d given up by letting Roc go. I needed something to take my focus off Roc.
    I opened the document Mark sent. In his attached note, he indicated that he believed it had Jeremiah’s MO written all over it. After