Free A Sense of Duty: A Former Navy SEAL Falls in Love and Begins a New Journey with his Private Consulting Company: Dark Horse Guardians by Ava Armstrong Page B

did not have government red tape to deal with. Maybe it was because he now commanded his own unit. He chose his own missions, sometimes hired by the CIA, but often by other intelligence agencies. He now performed tasks that the U.S. government didn't want to be responsible for, but they were willing to pay for. His skills were highly valuable. He would always remain a shadow warrior. His fight was for freedom. He was a guardian, a protector, for those who suffered at the hands of Islamic radicals.
     
    ~ Lara ~
    Lara was examining her relationship with Ben on the phone with Olivia Henderson. "Oh god, don't tell Eric about this. Do you think I'm moving too quickly with Ben? Did I bring him to my apartment too soon?" Olivia was Lara's sounding board, especially in matters like this. She was always calm and rational, "Well, Lara…I don't think Ben is like any guy you have met in the past and he's completely different than Eric." This was true. Ben wasn't trying to impress her. He wasn't concerned about how he looked or the acquisition of things. He never boasted about his accomplishments, although they were many. He had a quiet dignity about him, but was personable and friendly. Olivia added, "He seems comfortable with himself. I like this guy, Lara." Ben exuded responsibility, maturity, masculinity. These were the qualities that drew Lara to him. "What about the fact that he's married? Well, separated, actually. Oh god, Olivia, I am just so fearful of getting involved and having it fall apart. It's going to take so much to get close to him, and if it doesn't work out…" Olivia said, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." Lara continued with her analysis, "As happy as I am to be with Ben, I also realize we are polar opposites in many ways. I'm a nine-to-five person; Ben has always been a globe-trotter working 24/7. I want marriage and a family; Ben is already married and has a child. I have lived a life of organization, checklists, schedules; Ben has a spontaneous impulsive personality." Sensibly, Olivia said, "But opposites attract." Lara was quiet for a moment, "True." Olivia added one last comment, "He's had quite a career already, Lara. I think he is looking for someone to share his life with. There is a maturity about him. I think he knows what he wants. And, Lara, you are not committed to Eric. You are dating. And, even though he is my nephew and I love him, I want you to know I am neutral on the subject. You came into Eric's life just as Nicole broke off their relationship. It's been a win-win for both of you." Lara thanked Olivia for listening to her anxious ramblings. When she hung up the phone, Lara realized there was one thing that she had in common with Ben: both had a need to be in control. That might present a problem. Lara smiled to herself imagining what a pair they would make, two control freaks with obsessive compulsive disorder. The real fear Lara was wrestling with was losing her own self-control with Ben. Yet, ironically, she experienced an incredible sense of peace and safety when in his presence. She completely trusted him.
    In reality, Lara had a long list of fears. Her greatest fear was remaining alone for the rest of her life. She did not want to miss the experience of being married and having a family. She feared becoming an old maid. Her second greatest fear revolved around her physical safety. Constantly aware that another attack could take place, Lara wanted to be prepared for it…if and when it happened. She worried about losing her phone, her internship, her potential job, her best friends, and her safety net. She feared flying in a plane, was germ-phobic and had claustrophobia. She worried about not being able to bear a child. Lara's anxieties were endless and caused her exhaustion at times. She had created a seemingly safe little bubble in which to live and feared stepping out of it. Lara wanted certainty in her life, but Ben filled her with uncertainty right now. Eric Henderson was a steady guy