Free Undone by Elizabeth Norris Page A

back.
    I knew which table we were going to as soon as we walked in. There were two girls sitting under an umbrella. One of them fit my brother’s taste perfectly: fair skin, blond, bright blue eyes. She looked delicate and very pretty.
    She waved when she saw us.
    The other girl looked over. She had long dark hair, but Derek still would have liked her. She was delicate and pretty too. “I’m Stacee,” she said, holding out her hand when I reached the table.
    “Ben,” I said.
    She smiled and turned to Alice. “I told you he wouldn’t remember me.”
    I looked at Derek and he shrugged.
    “We went to elementary school together,” Stacee said. “I was a year ahead of you, but I lived down the street from Ian.”
    “Ian Shyrock? How is he?”
    “He’s good,” she said. “He finished high school this past year. He took some exams to get ahead, and now he’s joined the military. He’s down at basic.”
    “That’s great,” I said, even though I couldn’t picture the Ian I had known in the military.
    “Oh my God, you would not believe what happened to Stacee today. Tell them,” Alice said.
    Stacee turned pink and offered me a small apologetic smile. Something about it made me think of Janelle. Maybe all girls, not just Janelle, did that thing where they blushed and tucked a strand of hair behind their ear, but the way Stacee did it made it hard for me to listen to her story about how two guys in the city guard yelled at her after one of them opened a door for her and she didn’t say thank you.
    All I could focus on was the fact that she wasn’t Janelle.
    I wanted to be invested. Stacee was nice. She smelled good, she was funny and smart, she had a great smile, and she was pretty. She laughed at the right times when Derek interjected to say something funny and rolled her eyes when his jokes missed the mark.
    Her hair was darker, her eyes smaller and less round than Janelle’s. At the same time she was taller, maybe even a little thinner, too. She didn’t have the same athletic look to her that Janelle did. I couldn’t imagine this girl swimming in the ocean or carrying a gun.
    I couldn’t imagine her rescuing me, like Janelle had, in more ways than one.
    After Eli had been shot and I went to her house, it was pouring rain, late at night. I went through the backyard to see if the back door was unlocked. I needed to talk to someone, which meant I needed her. The kitchen light was on, and she was sitting at the table, crime-scene photos and her father’s paperwork spread out in front of her. She was trying to solve everything. I needed that. I needed her to solve me.
    When she saw me, she pulled me in, and I kissed her. I let everything go and I kissed her.
    In that moment, I felt at home.
    I loved my family, and I didn’t want to leave them again, but no matter how much I tried to pretend this was normal, it wasn’t. This life felt more fake than the one I’d left.
    When I couldn’t take it anymore, I stood up. “I’m not feeling that great. I’m going to head home,” I said.
    I offered Stacee my hand. “Thanks for the drink,” I said.
    She laughed and gave me a hug. My arms didn’t fit around her right. “Anytime,” she said.
    “How are you going to get home?” Derek asked as I started to head out.
    “I’ll walk,” I said over my shoulder. I used to walk home all the time. I never would have thought I’d miss that. Derek called after me. I turned and held up my hands the way we used to do when we were kids and there was something we didn’t understand. It was usually when our parents were doing something stupid, but it applied here. I didn’t understand what I was doing here, and I needed to leave.
    When I turned around again, I bumped into a guy in a Windbreaker. “Sorry,” I said as I moved around him. He said nothing.
    “Hey, Ben, wait up!” Derek called after me.
    I turned and waited for him.
    “What’s wrong?”
    “Nothing,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m just