Free The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya by Nagaru Tanigawa Page B

inspecting her freshly bagged prey before expressing obvious disappointment in a somewhat churlish gesture.
    “Oh. It’s just our neighbors. Why did these guys come here picking a fight?”
    Like I said, they were just about to explain that. You ambushed him from the side before he had a chance to talk.
    “But,” Haruhi pouted, “I thought that the student council had come to demand that we surrender this clubroom. I’m expecting them to show up anytime now. Honestly, don’t make things so difficult.”
    “That doesn’t make it okay for you to kick people.”
    I attempted to scold Haruhi.
    “Come to think of it, we haven’t tried that event yet…”
    This came from Koizumi, who at some point had moved from his position in the doorway to join us in the hallway. He appeared to be deep in thought, so I stepped on his toes. Don’t say anything that’ll make this worse.
    “Ugh…craven SOS Brigade…”
    The president continued to moan as he finally managed to stand up with his fellow members supporting him.
    “I-in any case, the contest is on. I was expecting there to be some



communication difficulties, so I wrote everything down. You should understand the contest after reading these documents.”
    One of the computer society members walked over carrying a stack of copy paper and CD cases and looking like he was in the process of feeding fresh meat to wild lions.
    “Appreciate it.”
    Koizumi accepted the items with a smile on his face.
    “I understand that we’ll be playing a game, but is there an instruction manual that comes with it?”
    A different member walked over to hand Koizumi another stack of paper, before speaking quietly.
    “Prez, we’re done here. Let’s return to the clubroom.”
    “Yes, let’s.”
    A weak nod.
    “Well, there you have it—”
    The president attempted to depart after giving his half-assed explanation, but Haruhi grabbed him by the neck.
    “Give us a proper explanation. I won’t let you trick me with a bunch of fine print. Give a thorough explanation that even stupid Kyon here could understand!”
    Who are you calling stupid?
    The unfortunate president was dragged into the literary club room. The remaining computer society members had no time to voice any objections or rescue their president before the door was shut on them.
     
    The cultural festival period of celebration was over and unlike Haruhi, who had fireworks going off in her head year-round, the rest of the school had returned to everyday life, or so I thought. However, it appeared that the computer society was still in a festive mood. Still, as I looked at the president, cowering in a metal chair all by his lonesome, he reminded me of a white mage with no magic points left and surrounded by zombies after getting separated from the rest of his party on the last floor of a dungeon. He hadn’t even touched the tea prepared by the similarly cowering Asahina as he sat through Haruhi’s interrogation.
    I’ll give a brief summary.
    The president’s demands were as follows.
Accept our challenge to a contest using a game made by the computer society.
If we win, return the computer that is currently sitting on the SOS Brigade desk to its original place.
Besides, the SOS Brigade doesn’t need an advanced multifunction computer. Computers are meant to be used by the computer society and we insist on its return.
In this case, I’m willing to forget the mental anguish I suffered during the computer extortion. No, I want to forget. Let’s all forget it ever happened.
And the reasons stated above obligate you to accept our challenge. Fight us.
    The sheets of paper Koizumi passed around basically explained the above in writing that was hard to understand and printed in a font that wasn’t very legible. An accusation and challenge bundled into one, I guess. I skimmed the neatly typewritten discourse, but Haruhi made the president talk. Long story short,
    “If you aren’t using the computer, give it back.”
    Per the