Free My Big Bottom Blessing by Teasi Cannon Page A

colder and less personal. Why? The answer started to come for me during one of my “sessions” with my Mighty Counselor (a.k.a. the Holy Spirit).
    MIGHTY COUNSELOR : Teasi, I want you to think about your attitude.
    FAT CHRISTIAN WOMAN : Oh, yeah. I know it's bad. It always has been.
    MIGHTY COUNSELOR : Tell me what you remember about your attitude as a young girl.
    FAT CHRISTIAN WOMAN : Well, I remember that I was always kind of negative—pouting about this and that—and I was really quite lazy.
    MIGHTY COUNSELOR : What did your parents do about it?
    FAT CHRISTIAN WOMAN : They were always trying to teach me the importance of having a good attitude. Almost any time I was grounded it was because of my attitude. In fact, I remember my mom saying this quite often: “You're grounded until your attitude changes or Christ returns—whichever comes first.” Of course I sat there waiting for the Rapture.
    MIGHTY COUNSELOR : So, when your attitude was bad, you were sent away to be alone? You were separated from fellowship with your family for a while, and you purposely kept yourself away from them, right?
    FAT CHRISTIAN WOMAN : Yep.
    MIGHTY COUNSELOR : Tell me…do you think your heavenly Father is upset about your attitude?
    FAT CHRISTIAN WOMAN : Of course. I can't ever seem to get it right.
    MIGHTY COUNSELOR : So, do you think He has “grounded” you? And are you keeping yourself from Him because of it?
    FAT CHRISTIAN WOMAN : ( Long silence .) Well, yes…I guess I am.
    This conversation may appear less than epic, but it was a major light-switch moment for me. The issue of my attitude was huge. I had been feeling guilty about it from my earliest years all the way into my adult life. Without being consciously aware, I was living my life like God the Father was disappointed with me—like I was constantly on restriction. My time with the Mighty Counselor showed me that under it all, I believed God was waiting on me to get my attitude right so He could finally bless me. And I didn't think it would ever happen because I was a hopeless case.
    But, the Bible doesn't say that.
    It doesn't say anywhere that God is waiting on us to get our attitude just right before He can bless us. His blessings are based on His goodness, not our own. This lie I believed—this misperception I had of the Father's heart—kept me from fully experiencing all the love He was desperately longing to give me. In effect, I was refusing it because I didn't believe I deserved it.
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
    In her book, Hurt People Hurt People , Dr. Sandra Wilson says it well: “We all read and interpret the Bible through the defective lens of personal experience.” 6 And I would add that we also view our relationship with our heavenly Father through those glasses—glasses muddied by our experiences with our parents and other relationships here on earth.
    As crazy as it may seem, even something as simple as my parents teaching me the importance of having a good attitude became a roadblock in my adult life. A good lesson became twisted into a lie I believed for years. Without knowing I had done so, I turned God into my heavenly Disciplinarian. And this kept me from experiencing Him as He really is.
    Now, if this could happen to me, do you think it's possible it could have happened to you? Is there a personal experience you had as a child (or some other time in your life) that could be creating a roadblock today?
    Think about this: What if as you were growing up, your father was the authoritarian type? Each day he came home from work tired and irritated. He wanted dinner on the table immediately, and he wanted his children to be seen and not heard. He expected immediate obedience and tolerated no silliness. If you were brave enough to discuss your life at the table, you'd better have been sure it was something worth listening to. It better have been good—good grades, awards won. After all, he worked hard to