Free A Zombie Christmas by Anthony Renfro

 
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    A Zombie Christmas
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    1
     
     
     
    I lowered my rifle and put my left eye on the scope. 
    H e was an ugly sucker. 
    From what I could tell, he used to be a man around five foot five or six , maybe seven.  Hell, I couldn’t tell the exact height from just a tiny scope.  His suit was disheveled, full of dirt, and blood (it looked fresh, a recent feast perhaps), and half of his face was gone. 
    This zombie was currently investigating my Santa Claus and reindeer display.  He was studying it like he knew wha t it was or remembered what it was. 
    “Don’t pick up Rudolf.  Don’t.”  He leaned over and picked up Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer. 
    That did it.
    You see, the biggest problem was this. 
    When you messed with Rudolph, you screwed up the whole display.  All the reindeer were attached by string, and that string led into the hands of Santa, who was glued by his butt to the sleigh he was sitting in.  That meant, you picked up one, you picked up all of them.  Sure enough, as soon as the zombie picked up Rudolph, the rest of the display just went into disarray.  
    I didn’t want to shoot the zombie just yet, because if he fell forward then it would crush the display all together.  So I waited until he was trying to walk away with Rudolph, shambling off, the display dragging behind him. 
    Bam!
    That’s when I dropped him.  Perfect head shot, display still safe.
    I was on the balcony of the house when I made the shot, so I took my rope ladder and dropped it over the side.  I put the rifle down and grabbed a couple of pistols nearby.  I checked their chambers, full, locked, and loaded.  I put the guns in their holsters and climbed down to the ground.
    I walked across the lawn, eyes back and forth, looking for zombies.    
    I stopped and got down on one knee , pulled out my right pistol, light reflecting off the metal. 
    I aimed.
    Bam! 
    It was another perfect head shot.  The zombie hit the pavement, and he didn’t move.  The n oise had stirred up more of them, so I had to get to my display, fix it, and then get back.  I know its stupid trying to worry about Christmas decorations in a world filled with zombies, but like I always say, it’s the little things that keep us sane. 
    So, I grabbed Rudolph out of the dead zombie’s hands, and I put the display back in order. 
    I quickly made my way back to the house, where nothing was stirring, not even a mouse.
    I took out a few with my pistol as I ran across the yard, climbed back up the rope ladder and took my place on the balcony, so I could guard the house.  I turned on my boom box.  Perry Como flooded the air with Christmas cheer. 
     
    The zombies were getting restless around me, so I decided it was time to even out the herd. 
    It was pretty easy shooting.
    I stopped my rampage when something white hit my nose.  I looked up into the sky as flakes of snow began to fall.  It was the first snow fall of the year. 
    2
    Two days passed. 
    The decorations were unharmed, including the Santa Claus display.  
    I was sitting in my living room reading a Stephen King book – “Duma Key.”
                  The door bell rang. 
    I grabbed my gun and walked over to it
    I looked out the peep hole as a zombie shambled down off the porch.  There were four of them out there.  All zombied up, rotting, bloody, fresh from the grave, and they were all dressed like carolers and holding caroling books.  One had it upside down, two had theirs sideways, and the smart one, who rang the doorbell, had his right side up.
    I didn’t put up anything with lights in it or on it.  There were no lights around the house.  I had muted decorations so they wouldn’t attract attention.  I don’t know why or how the carolers found me, but they did.
    I began to smile as they