quivering. “I thought I would help out a little.” Lori avoided making eye contact with her daughter and told her, “Go ahead in. I’ll take care of this.”
“You’re acting weird.”
“I am not,” said Lori Bandini, sounding more suspicious this time. “I’m just taking the garbage out. You worked all day. Go ahead inside and I’ll take care of it.” She started to swing the trash back to build up some momentum for a big throw into the dumpster.
“I’ll help you.”
“I can handle the damned trash myself,” said Lori Bandini as she released the trash bag into the air. It sailed straight for the rim of the dumpster. The plastic bag burst open, sending all the glass vodka bottles and microwavable dinner boxes all over the apartment complex driveway. “God damn it!” she shouted, throwing her arms straight up in the air in frustration. “I can’t believe this fucking day! Even the fucking garbage is out to get me today!”
Besides the usual refuse and junk, Ann Marie spotted the distinct emerald green color of money in the mix of trash. Apparently her mom was doing her best to toss away a considerable number of twenty and fifty dollar bills. They were spilling out of a white envelope along with a handwritten letter. Lori tried to grab the envelope and finish its journey to the dumpster.
“What the hell are you doing! Mom, that’s money for God’s sake!”
Lori held the letter and envelope back from her daughter, who was trying to grab them.
“Hey!” objected Ann Marie when she noticed the name of the addressee. “That letter is addressed to me. That’s my money, mom!”
“Believe me, you don’t want this money.”
“Considering I’m the one paying the bills, maybe I do!”
“Fine,” her mom said in a tone of forfeit. “I’ll give you the money and letter and I’ll explain everything.” She started to hand her daughter the letter and stack of bills.
“Who is the letter from anyway? Is it from a rich uncle I didn’t know about?” The moment Ann Marie saw her father’s name on the return address, she looked straight at her mom and said, “Oh. It’s from him.”
Then, in a quick and somewhat violent maneuver, Lori Bandini grabbed the letter right out of her daughter’s hand. She started to rip it into tiny pieces. Her hands worked in a fury to tear the thing up before her daughter could stop her.
“What are you doing! Stop it mom!” Ann Marie tried to pull the remaining shreds of paper away but it was too late. The letter from her father had become a scattered mess in the breeze. Most of the money had spilled out and was starting to blow away.
“I’m sorry, baby, but I had to.”
“You’re crazy! You practically attack me to keep from reading something. What’s wrong with you!”
“I’m sorry, but I had to.”
“Bullshit! Why? How many letters has he sent that you’ve kept from me?”
“This is the first.”
“You’re such a liar, mom! I’m never believing anything you tell me ever again.”
“I understand,” said Lori soberly. “But, I had to.”
“Why? So you can keep me under control?”
“I’m sorry. But I had to.”
“You’ve been lying to me about my own father. For how long?”
“I’m sorry,” her mom said, gazing off at the night sky. “I’m doing what it takes to protect you.”
After that, Lori walked back into the apartment as though nothing had happened. Even with her daughter still asking questions, she poured herself a tall glass of bourbon and got out her pack of cigarettes. She had a vacant, dissociated expression. As she started to drink, it looked like she was on automatic pilot.
“Mom, are you OK?”
Lori just sipped from her glass as though she couldn’t hear the question.
“Mom, I’m not gonna just let this go the way I always do. I want you to tell me what the hell is going on here. Why did you tear up that letter?”
Lori didn’t answer.
“I know you’ve never told me the truth about him,” Ann
Carl Woodring, James Shapiro