Free Icon of the Indecisive by Mina V. Esguerra Page A

wine. He was feeling frustrated over being a non-boyfriend on such an important day, or maybe he just needed to vent, but she kissed him and he let her.
    It got worse from there.
    Oh god Marlee shit oh god Marlee
     

     
    "What happened to you ?" Justin asked.
    "I fell," I said.
    The nurse peeked into our little room and said that they were going to take Justin to the hospital now. He wondered aloud if I should be brought along, but upon checking my bruises, he noticed that they weren't the same shade as earlier.
    "This is weird," he said. "Did you notice that they're fading?"
    "I think I just bruise easily," I said, but my voice shook a little. It was getting harder to act like this was normal, and that showing any kind of concern was crazy. "It goes away really quickly."
    He made a note in my file, recommending that I take an annual physical exam soon, and ushered a limping Justin away.
    And I was finally alone. I pulled myself up.
    What the hell is this? Is this part of it? Am I supposed to feel everything they feel, literally?
    A second later and I wasn't alone anymore. Quin burst in, and his hands were on me, my face, my arms, lifting my shirt to check my torso, gently but firmly doing his own inspection.
    "How did this happen?" he demanded.
    Emotion overload—I was relieved, happy, annoyed, angry to see him, and lost my calm. The dam broke.
    "You tell me!" I retorted. "What is this? Did I miss out on something in our orientation? I didn't sign up for this!"
    "Hannah," and his hands were on my face, trying to calm me down, and I realized that I was crying. "This isn't how it's supposed to be. So no one actually hurt you?"
    "No one. It happened last night, but nobody was around, like it was just a nightmare."
    "Is it painful?"
    "It was, last night, but not anymore." Justin's fear still hung around in the pit of my stomach, and it was becoming mine. "Is this going to be happening to me? Because I can't do this. Just days ago I was throwing up and today this and who knows what other stupid things people do I don't want those things happening to me."
    "Hannah." His voice was gentle and he drew me into an embrace, and I was close enough to hear his heart, and my own heart seemingly slowed down to keep the same rhythm. "This isn't natural. You think you're experiencing what they're feeling?"
    "Literally. Maybe. Jessica... she's got morning sickness, and I've been nauseous for days. And the bruises I have match Justin's."
    "But Justin's beating happened just now."
    I shook my head, speaking into his shoulder. "I don't know. All I know is mine happened last night but it looked the same as his."
    Quin's arms tightened around me.
    Why did it have to get this bad before he could even do this? Why didn't Quin just want to be with me?
    Did I really want to help those troubled with love, or was I just out to get exactly this —attention from the Sun God?
    How awful was I?
    "Is this supposed to make me quit?" I said. "I don't think I can let this happen to me again."
    "It's not supposed to be like this, Hannah. I'll get to the bottom of it. Someone's doing this to you."
    "No no," and I was on a roll, with fresh tears coming on, and was aware that I was soaking his shirt with them, "I can't. If this is what Vida wants me to feel to make me quit then she can have it, she can have this—I don't want it if it'll always be like this."
    He snapped his head back quickly. "Vida said what to you?"
    "That she'd prove I wasn't ready for this. Maybe... I don't remember..."
    "That's enough for me, Hannah. I think you should rest and let me handle this."
    "But it's okay. She can win. I don't need this. I quit," I said.
    I don't need this because I don't need you anymore.
    He brushed tears away from my cheek with his thumb, and his touch was light, and careful, and it was suddenly hard for me to believe that I had ever thought him cold and uncaring. "No quitting. You and I will get through this."
    Did I dare believe it? Having his arms around me