Free Longarm and the Whiskey Woman by Tabor Evans Page A

roamed these hills."
    Longarm smiled slowly. He said, "Well, I've got to tell you, that gives me some relief."
    Salem Colton looked over to Frank Carson and said, "Well, what did they go to buttin' heads about?"
    Carson chuckled softly, that mild unhumorless sound he made. He said, "Oh, Morton was up to his usual tricks of trying to cheat at a poker game and this gentleman, being a gentleman, didn't know he wasn't supposed to do anything about it. He's still of the opinion that cheating at a poker game is not allowed. He stuck a gun in Morton's face, blessed him out pretty good, and then told him he was lucky to get off with no more than losing his money. Showed him the door in other words."
    All three of the men laughed, although Longarm thought the two younger men didn't seem to find the story as funny as Salem did.
    There was a big gallon jug sitting in the middle of the table, half-full of a clear liquid. About that time, the woman put a glass in front of both Frank Carson and Longarm. Salem Colton stood up, took the gallon jug, and poured them both a full measure. He said, "Drink up, gents. This stuff is damned near a week old."
    Carson said, "Prime stuff, huh?"
    "Yeah, we don't keep it a hell of a lot longer than that."
    Longarm took a healthy swig, wanting to show his appreciation. It burned his mouth, burned his throat, and seared his stomach. It tasted like the kerosene you put in a coal oil lamp. He gasped slightly, his eyes watering. He said, "My God! That's stout!"
    Now all three men laughed.
    Salem said, "Little strong for your taste?"
    Longarm said, choking, "I would reckon that stuff would fetch up a wildcat. My Lord! I think my tongue has gone to sleep."
    One of the younger men spoke for the first time. "I reckon that would be some pretty high-proof stuff."
    Longarm said, "That makes me come to a funny question that's in my mind. I'm new in this whiskey business--been in the cattle and land business out in Arizona--but I never had much to do with whiskey except to drink it. How do y'all come to this proof business? I've seen it printed on labels on bottles, but that there jug ain't got no label on it. How do you know what proof it is? I know the higher the proof, the stronger the kick is, and that particular mule that you've got in that bottle could kick a barn down."
    Salem said with a straight face, "Have you ever heard of a lap dog?"
    Longarm looked around at the three or four hounds lying around the room, their chins on their front paws. "Yeah, but I don't see any one here that would fit in anybody's lap, unless they had a mighty big lap."
    "Well," said Salem. "It's a bit different kind of lap dog. We've got a little drip that we run out of each still with a little tin pan there, and this here one dog we have goes over and laps up some from time to time. As soon as he keels over, we know it's strong enough."
    Everyone laughed at the table except Longarm. "Ain't that a bit hard on the dog?"
    Salem shook his head. He said, "Nah, we've got a pillow stuffed with goose feathers laying right there beside the pan, so when he falls over, he don't hurt himself."
    Longarm nodded. "I see. That's damned thoughtful of YOU."
    About then, the woman came in from the kitchen and set a plate of food in front of Longarm and Frank Carson. There was what appeared to be smoked ham and gravy and some mashed potatoes and some kind of garden peas. There was a big hunk of corn bread on each plate.
    Frank Carson said, "Bathsheba, you didn't have to go to this much trouble."
    Longarm said, "Mrs. Colton, I am much obliged. I was as hungry as a hog. Mr. Carson can give me his part if he don't want it."
    Carson said, "I never said that! I was just being polite."
    Longarm nodded at the woman. "I am much obliged, Mrs. Colton. This here ham looks mighty good."
    Salem Colton said, "Y'all go on and eat and then we'll talk after a minute. I'll be right interested to hear how come Mr. Long wants to go into the whiskey business."
    Longarm said,