dump her.”
“We had a fight.”
“Look, man, I don’t have any stake in this. I just want you to be happy.”
Noah thanked him with a little nod and Dylan tried to change the subject. “Now can we please just be irresponsible while we still can?”
Noah looked at Dylan for a second, then smiled and went over to the couch to take a turn with the joint.
“Yes! That’s what I’m talking about!” Dylan said to himself as he went over to join them.
In the tiny bedroom with only a mattress on the floor, a cheap particle-board dresser, and a picture of Jesus on the wall (Jesus Christ, not Jesus the drug dealer), Walker and the girl were making out.
“You have really nice eyes,” Walker felt the need to say.
The girl smiled and in one motion pulled off her top. Walker’s eyes went wide at seeing her black, lacy bra but he quickly contained his excitement and played it cool. Walker took off his own shirt.
“You are so hot. My name’s Walker by the way.”
She just smiled and pulled him onto the bed.
Back on the couch, Pike passed the joint to Jesus. Dylan noticed the case of brand new fire extinguishers stacked by the window. “Hey, what’s with all the fire extinguishers?”
“Found ’em,” said the fat guy, a man of apparently few words.
“Can we fuck around with them?” Dylan inquired.
The guy just shrugged.
Dylan went over, took one out, and pulled the pin. He pointed it at Pike’s face and, without even saying a word, pulled the trigger .
Dylan blasted him with white foam, covering Pike’s face like he got hit with a pie from an old Three Stooges movie.
Pike leapt up off the couch, beyond irate. “What the fuck!!!”
Everyone else just stared for a moment, then burst out laughing.
Things between Walker and the hot, stoned girl were progressing nicely. They were making out on the bed while Walker felt her up. Walker wasn’t as hopeless as the guys thought—turns out, he was pretty skilled up to, and including, second base. His roaming hand undid her bra clasp and she helped him take her bra off altogether. Her breasts were something to behold. Small, but perfectly shaped and perky.
Maybe it was the pace at which things were progressing. Maybe it was the excitement of hooking up with a total stranger. Or maybe it was just that Walker knew he really was going to score this time. Whatever the reason, Walker suddenly felt the need to confess: “I should tell you, I’ve never done this before. So I might not be that good. I mean, I don’t really know. Maybe I will be good at it. I’ve certainly thought about it a lot, but you know, just in case it’s not good, that’s why. Bottom line, though, if you just give me a chance, I’ll try really hard.”
The girl just stared at him blankly. He couldn’t read her expression but it certainly seemed like maybe he just blew it.
After a moment, she finally spoke: “Lo siento. No hablo inglés.”
Walker stared at her in disbelief. “You don’t understand me.”
He was dazed for a second. His whole ridiculous speech a moment ago hadn’t turned her off. For all she knew, he was describing the various ways he was going to defile her. Whatever she might have thought he said, it didn’t seem to turn her off the idea of having sex with him. To the contrary, she pulled a condom out of her purse and handed to him.
Walker just stared at her. She was so hot with her tight, naked body. This was the moment he’d dreamt of since he got hair on his balls. All he had to do was let it happen. But Walker was Walker, and Walker made everything complicated.
He stared at the condom, then back at her. Then, after what seemed like an eternity, he said, “I can’t.”
He sat up in bed.
She was confused.
“I’m sorry. You are very beautiful. This just isn’t—It’s not what I imagined.”
She wondered what she had done wrong.
Walker continued, “I know you don’t understand a word I’m saying but I just want my first time to be with