Free A Man to Hold on to (A Tallgrass Novel) by Marilyn Pappano Page A

disaster, and things with Jacob were iffy. If they thought for an instant she was trying to replace their father with another man…
    “I’m not saying this Keegan guy is the man for you. There’s that little problem of living eight to ten hours apart. Though,” Carly said reflectively, “we do it all the time. My point is, you noticed him as a man, in a gee-he’s-handsome-and-I’m-a-living-breathing-woman sort of way, and that’s a start. The next man you notice might be one right here in town, one who’s available and worth the risk of getting involved.”
    “I can’t imagine it,” Therese said stubbornly. And she really couldn’t, not with things the way they were. But her friend did have a point: she had noticed that Keegan Logan was handsome, and that she was a woman still living and breathing, no matter how hard it was at times. And there was certainly an allure to the idea that, sometime in the future, she might share her life with someone.
    Before she could get all wistful thinking of not being alone anymore, Carly sighed and got to her feet. “I’ve got to get home. Thanks for the cookies. Next time I’ll bring them with me.”
    Therese started to rise, but Carly waved her back.
    “I know the way.” Unexpectedly she bent for a hug. “Everything’s going to be good again someday, sweetie. With you, with the kids, with life in general.”
    Therese clung to her a moment, savoring the simple embrace, the closeness, the affection. Her voice was a little husky when she asked, “Are you sure about that?”
    It took Carly a bit after she straightened to reply, thoughtfully, positively. “I am. Hey, life’s nothing without hope, right?”
    After saying good-bye, she went into the house. A moment later, Therese imagined she heard the click of the front door, though of course she hadn’t. Only Abby’s vigorous slams were loud enough to hear out back.
    Life’s nothing without hope. Carly was right. That was why Therese felt so edgy and empty and bleak these days. She’d lost hope. Part of her was convinced that giving up the kids was the first step to finding it again—both hope and her life. Part of her thought if she could just hold out until Abby was on her own. Part of her didn’t have a clue.
    “Lord, if You want to send down some answers, I’m here waiting,” she whispered, her gaze shifting automatically to the sky. It was a beautiful vivid blue, with clouds so fat and white they didn’t look real. Far above, the contrails from two jets formed intersecting wisps, and right next door a bird sang in the branches of the neighbor’s maple.
    Peace. Even without an answer from God, that was what she should have been feeling on such an afternoon, but it eluded her. It had for a long time.
    Wearily she stood and gathered the empty tea glasses. At the door, she hesitated, her lungs tightening, that familiar sensation fluttering in her chest. Her home wasn’t a refuge, as it should be, but a place she dreaded being.
    Monday morning and work couldn’t come soon enough.
    *  *  *
     
    Monday morning always came too soon.
    Jessy dragged herself out of bed after hitting the snooze button on the alarm three times for an extra thirty minutes of sleep. She was achy, stiff, and stuffy when she went into the bathroom. Her hair stood on end, the red so bright that it hurt her eyes this early in the morning, and made her face look as washed out as a jar of paste. There were shadows under her eyes and lines bracketing her mouth.
    She must be coming down with something. She hadn’t slept well. She wasn’t getting enough exercise, and her nutrition sucked. All combined, it was taking a toll on her, and it showed. At least, that was what she told herself.
    Damn it if she’d admit, even to herself, that it was a lie.
    She showered, dressed, applied makeup with lots of concealer to hide the shadows, then went into the kitchen to scrounge up something for breakfast. Resolutely she ignored the empty bottle of