Free A Man to Hold on to (A Tallgrass Novel) by Marilyn Pappano

before leaning over to set it on the cement. “The first few months after Jeff died, it seemed everywhere I went, everyone knew. People would look at me. Sometimes they’d say they were sorry. Sometimes they couldn’t meet my gaze or get away from me fast enough.”
    Therese nodded again. She knew those looks. They’d followed her through the halls at school, in the businesses she frequented, whenever she ran into soldiers from Paul’s unit or especially their spouses. They were sympathetic and awkward and sometimes fearful but also relieved, because what happened to her and Paul could happen to any of them, but hadn’t yet.
    “The first time we met…” Carly gestured with her left hand, and for just an instant it struck Therese how odd it looked without the wedding band she’d just recently switched to her right hand. “I went to your class to ask you to dinner, I told you my name and said, ‘My husband was…’ and you knew. You said, ‘I know. Mine, too.’”
    “It was hard not to know.” The post school where Therese taught kindergarten and Carly third grade was large, but with the population entirely military dependents—and many of the teachers—a combat death couldn’t go unnoticed. At the time of Paul’s death, there had been more than twenty teachers at the combined elementary/middle/high school whose spouses were deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan. More than twenty people living in fear of that casualty notification call.
    Carly had been lucky enough to get hers at home after school—if anything about the experience could be considered lucky. Therese’s had come in the middle of the day: a knock at her classroom door, the principal asking her to accompany him to his office, where two solemn-faced officers in dress uniform waited. Her first hope when Mr. Hopkins called her from the room was that some minor accident had affected one of the kids, but in her heart, she’d known it was Paul, and seeing the officers had confirmed it.
    Her heart had broken, her life ended, in the principal’s office.
    Not ended. Just…redirected.
    At least, that was her prayer.
    “So…this man…did he say what he wanted with Paul? Was he in Afghanistan with him?”
    “Yes. He’s a medic. Stationed at Fort Polk now. His name is Keegan Logan.”
    Carly nudged her with one sandaled foot. “Is he as handsome as his name?”
    Therese made a big show of rolling her eyes. “Need I remind you that you’re engaged to be married?”
    A flush of sheer pleasure washed over Carly, brightening her face, lightening her eyes. “You do not. But I know available women. Is he?”
    “Available?”
    “Handsome. You’re avoiding the question, so I’m going to assume the answer is yes, very.” Slowly Carly smiled, her expression shifting from teasing to serious. “When was your last date, Therese?”
    She bent to pluck an early-blooming weed from the lawn at the edge of the patio and fixed her gaze on it. “I have no time or energy for or interest in dating. You forget, I have enough drama in my life with Jacob and the princess. Besides, even if I were interested, it wouldn’t be another soldier. And Sergeant Logan isn’t even stationed here. I won’t ever see him again.”
    “Maybe not.” Her friend’s smile returned. “Though I wasn’t looking for another soldier, either, and when I met Dane in that cave, I thought I’d never see him again. Look at us now.”
    “Disgustingly in love, I know. But it’s different for you.” Carly had only the memories of Jeff, what they’d had and what they should have had, to deal with. The major impact of getting involved with another man was on her and no one else.
    “You’re a stepmother, Therese, not a nun. You agreed to take care of Paul’s kids, not give up your own life for them. Besides, a father figure might do them some good.”
    The mere thought of introducing a man into Abby’s and Jacob’s lives made Therese shudder. Her relationship with Abby was a certified