Free Humbled by Patricia Haley

Zarah told him.
    Joel wanted to curl up in the corner and wash away his dread. Zarah was dogging him emotionally at every turn. Her sweet, gentle voice wasn’t going to let up, and it made him feel like he was the monster. If he told her he needed time to figure things out, she might feel badly at first, but being honest with her was for the best.
    Turning to face her, he saw the radiance in her eyes. She really was happy; making him feel even worse, if that was possible. But then he stopped worrying about her reaction and spit out his words. “Zarah,” he said, taking her hand, “I will have dinner with you and then I’ll get a room at the Westin until I can figure out what’s next.”
    â€œNo, you must stay here. You’ve been gone for two weeks. We have had very little time together.”
    Huh? They’d spent plenty of time together. Her pregnancy was the proof. Joel cringed. “Please, don’t fight me on this. I need the space, and you do too.”
    â€œI don’t ever need space from my husband,” she said as several tears fell. “Please stay with me. I don’t want to be here without you.” She clung to him.
    Joel buried his head in his hands and slowly massaged his temples. The bulk of the damaging storm was over, but there was more to come. He’d camp out at the Westin until his plans crystallized. He’d concentrate on his professional recovery and let the marriage sit on the sidelines, out of the way. In the meantime, he had plenty to worry about.

Chapter 13
    Zarah couldn’t move. She’d sat in the exact same spot for hours, clinging to the desire of his return. When her husband walked out, he’d crushed her spirit. Her tears had dried up after she’d cried off and on for close to two hours. The ache was too deep for her to touch. There was too much to process. How would she face her family? Getting divorced was grounds for being shunned. Being pregnant and divorced was worse than death. At least with death there was peace and a positive flow of energy that would usher her soul to a place of goodness and contentment. She wanted to get up and go somewhere or do something, but her strength faded.
    Panic set in. The estate felt too big, empty, and dark. Zarah struggled to settle down. The sharp memory of depression crept in. She’d lost her will to live months ago, when Joel had abandoned her the first time, before he asked for a divorce. She hadn’t wanted to live without him. That hadn’t changed, but the baby didn’t give her the option of giving up. She couldn’t lie on her bed until death claimed her sad soul. She had to get better for the sake of her child. Nothing else took precedence, not even Joel.
    Zarah wallowed in her sorrow for another twenty minutes. Enough, she thought, placing the palm of her hand gently across her abdomen. She needed help, and there was only one person who came to mind. She rushed to the phone and dialed Tamara frantically. The phone rang and rang, and her call finally went to voice mail. She redialed two more times, until Tamara answered.
    â€œYou’re there!” Zarah shouted. “I rang you twice before.”
    â€œI’m sorry I missed your calls. I was picking up my carryout order and didn’t hear the phone inside the restaurant.”
    Zarah sighed loudly.
    â€œWhat’s going on? Are you all right?” Tamara asked.
    â€œNo, I’m not good.”
    â€œDo I need to ask what’s wrong, or do I already know?”
    â€œJoel has left our home for a stay at the hotel.”
    â€œWhen did he get back?”
    â€œThis evening he came home. We spoke, and he moved to the hotel. I don’t want to live in this house alone. I want my husband.”
    Zarah had anticipated Tamara’s reaction. She’d heard her comments repeatedly, but Tamara didn’t understand the stigma that would come from a divorce. Zarah didn’t care about the