Free Unresolved Issues by Wanda B. Campbell

I lay down with John Archer that he was a married man with no intentions of leaving his wife. He told me the first day he flirted with me that he was only curious. I was well aware that he kept coming back because of the sex and not because of me. He didn’t love me. I was playing with fire, and I got burned, but not in a bad way. I got you. Derrick, you have been the joy of my life.”
    Derrick smiled. “I know, Mom. You tell me all the time right after you call me certified crazy.”
    â€œBaby, I should have picked a better father for you or at least provided a positive role model for you, but I didn’t and for that, I’m sorry. If I had, you wouldn’t be so insecure and screwed up right now.”
    â€œMama, what are you talking about?” He disagreed with her. “I never said I’m insecure.”
    â€œThat’s the problem; you won’t admit it. But not having your father has left you with a fear of rejection and insecurity.”
    Derrick turned away from her. She was right, but he wasn’t ready to hear it, not yet.
    â€œThat’s why you keep shutting Staci out; you’re afraid that if she sees the real you, she’ll reject you. That’s why you won’t share your feelings with her. That’s why you left her, but baby, you’re too late. She sees the real you just like I do, and she accepts you. I accept you. It’s time you for you to accept yourself for who you are, so God can heal you.”
    She sounded like Pastor Reggie. “Mama, it’s not that easy.”
    â€œAnd losing your wife is?”
    Derrick’s jaw flexed, and his eyes darkened. Why didn’t his mother understand how he felt? Why should she?—he really didn’t understand himself.
    Miss Cora continued. “Derrick, go home and talk to your wife. Staci’s a good wife. Don’t make her suffer for my and John’s shortcomings.”
    Derrick swallowed hard, but didn’t say anything. Miss Cora gently touched his arm. “Baby, I know it’s hard, but with God, it’s possible.”
    Derrick couldn’t admit to his mother he hadn’t talked to God in so long, God probably wouldn’t recognize his voice. He couldn’t tell his mother that he felt like a failure as a Christian since he and Staci committed fornication. He couldn’t tell her how he felt guilty about the abortion. He couldn’t tell her he was afraid. He couldn’t tell her any of that. What he did was kiss her on the cheek, told her he loved her, then left.
    On his way back to his studio apartment, he stopped by his house. He was both relieved and disappointed when he didn’t see Staci’s car. Inside their bedroom, he fought and won over the urge to break down. He missed his home so much. In the three weeks he’d been gone, nothing had changed except the closet he once occupied was now completely empty. His chest and underwear drawers were empty also. His tie rack was bare. Staci had boxed up his remaining clothes and personal belongings. Before locking the door after loading the last box into his SUV, he grabbed a framed picture of Staci from the mantle. The peaceful image would have to be enough for now.

Chapter 14
    Staci spent Saturday morning housecleaning and trying to keep herself from crying. When she returned home last night, the boxes she’d pack for her estranged husband were gone. The hot anger she had when she packed them had dissipated and now was replaced by an overwhelming emptiness.
    Staci was determined to move on with her life despite how hard the task was. The nights were the worst. No matter how distant they’d become, she and Derrick always slept with his arms around her. Now, her king-sized bed was cold and uninviting. She tried unsuccessfully to substitute his lack of presence by changing her bedding and traded in the black and gold motif for an emerald green jacquard design. She thought the warm green would add