Free Wisdom Seeds by Patrice Johnson Page A

ForbesAvenue and called Alicia. I’m not sure how she understood what I was saying, but she came to get me. I told her everything on the way to the house. We sat on the couch and she held me while I cried. Then I put my head back and went to sleep.
    â€œDani.” Andrea was shaking me. “We need to talk.”
    Alicia was on the floor doing sit-ups. Her weak smile let me know she had already told what happened.
    I sat up next to Andrea. “You were right.” I buried my face in my hands and began to cry. “He’s married. He has a wife and we’re both pregnant.”
    â€œWe need to pray.” Andrea motioned Alicia to join us. “Lord we need you right now. Danielle needs you. Lord she needs you in her life. Touch her heart; let her feel your presence. Touch her mind, give her peace. Lord help me to know how to help her.”
    While Andrea prayed I thought about Nana – the wisdom seeds were choking on the weeds of my stupidity and withering in the heat of deception.
    â€œAmen,” I repeated after them. “I don’t know what to do,” I said still holding their hands. “He wants me to have an abortion. Can you believe that?”
    â€œWhat do you want to do?” Alicia asked. “There’s always adoption.”
    â€œI don’t know. I can’t have an abortion and I can’t give my baby away.” I started to cry again. “I feel so stupid.”
    The guest room was a reminder that Andrea had been right. I should have been sleeping in that bed instead of with Greg. Andrea was too gracious to say I told you so and I regretted not listening to her. Guilt and embarrassment kept me awake until almost two o’clock. The first time I made love to Greg played over and over in my head. It had felt soright, felt so good – love wasn’t supposed to hurt.
    I pretended to be sleeping until after my cousins left the next morning. It was almost noon before I got out of bed. My mind was still racing and I could feel a migraine coming. “Bubble bath,” I said out loud. “I’ll take a bubble bath.” Hot sudsy water always felt good.
    As I let myself sink down in the tub I hummed Nana’s favorite song. I began to cry, again – Nana probably wasn’t smiling. My tears were not growing me, they were drowning me. After twenty minutes the water started getting cold and the bubbles started melting. I wrapped myself in Andrea’s robe and detoured to the kitchen to turn on the tea kettle.
    The August sun was bright so I closed the blinds. How could I be pregnant? What was I going to do? Why did I fall in love with a married man? Stupid, that’s what I was, just plain dumb stupid. I didn’t deserve to be anyone’s mother.
    The phone interrupted my mental pity party. It was Alicia.
    â€œHey girl, feeling better?”
    â€œYeah,” I lied. “I’m okay – just fighting a headache.”
    â€œDani, we’re here for you. Whatever we can do, really.”
    â€œI know.” I took a deep breath. “It’s appreciated.”
    After drinking my tea, I decided to get dressed and make dinner to give my mind something else to think about. The blue jean outfit made me sick. Greg bought it because he liked the way it looked on me. I wished I had something else to put on. Getting dressed proved to be overwhelming and I was taken hostage on the couch by my headache.
    â€œDani!” Alicia was shaking me and her voice was panicked.
    â€œWhat?” She startled me because I hadn’t heard her come in.
    â€œWhat are you doing? You got three bottles of pills on the sink, you’re here in the dark, blinds closed, lights off – did you take any of those pills? Girl, get up!” The shrill in her voice was piercing.
    â€œI’m up.” I interrupted her. “And no, I did not take any of those pills. I was looking for something to take for my headache and decided to sleep it