Free Wisdom Seeds by Patrice Johnson

have to go back to Pittsburgh.”
    â€œWhy?” You’re still not feeling well. I can see it in your eyes.”
    â€œDr. Wilkerson, my boss from the internship program, may have a full-time position for me,” I lied. “I need to meet with her next Friday.”
    â€œHow long will you be gone?”
    â€œProbably until Sunday.”
    Before I could get out of the kitchen she asked, “Who’s Greg? Will you be seeing him while you’re in Pittsburgh?”
    I tried to sound nonchalant. “I think I can fit him in.”
    â€œIf he misses you so much, why hasn’t he come tovisit?”
    â€œHe’s a resident at Children’s Hospital. His schedule is crazy.”
    â€œA doctor – you never mentioned him. Will we be meeting him any time soon?” Mom was unusually persistent.
    I could feel myself blushing. “Of course, Mom.”
    â€œSeems to be serious. Is it love?”
    â€œYeah, I really think so.”
    â€œI see.” Mom looked over her glasses. “Just remember Dr. Morant is your doctor.”
    I felt transparent – it was as if she knew.
    Out of guilt I took the bus to the Greyhound station in Camden. I had lied to my mother and, on top of that, anticipated the five-hour bus ride making me nauseous.
    Greg met me at the bus station and I cried when he hugged me.
    â€œIt hasn’t been that long,” he teased.
    Not wanting to discuss being pregnant in the bus station, I tried to smile.
    â€œWhat’s the matter?” Greg asked when we got in the car. “I thought you’d be happy to see me.”
    I answered without looking at him. “I’m pregnant.”
    We rode in silence to his apartment. He never looked at me and intentionally fumbled with his keys while we walked up the steps to his apartment. We sat on the couch. I needed Greg to hold me – he sat at the other end and looked out the window.
    â€œWhat are we going to do?” I emphasized we.
    â€œI don’t know, this is so sudden. I can’t think.” He continued to stare out the window.
    â€œI can’t have a baby by myself Greg. I’m scared. My dad is going to kill me.” I could feel myself rambling.
    â€œDani, this complicates everything.” He spoke slowly. “It’s a big step – a major commitment.”
    â€œA major commitment?” I snapped, jumping up off the couch and standing in front of him. “What about me being pregnant? Is it more major than that?”
    Greg got up from the couch and stood across the room facing me. “I can’t marry you.”
    â€œWhy? What’s the matter? I love you! I thought you loved me?”
    He put his head down and put his hands over his face. He took a deep breath and put his hands in his pockets. Sweat was dripping off his forehead. Looking at the floor he whispered, “I do love you, it’s just complicated.”
    â€œWhat do you mean complicated? Being pregnant without a husband is complicated!” I could hear myself yelling.
    â€œI already have a wife. We were going to get an annulment – then she got pregnant.” Greg spoke without taking a breath, almost as if he were reciting a passage he had practiced and memorized.
    His words left me dumbfounded.
    â€œA friend of mine does abortions. We can take care of this tomorrow.” He spoke with an air of cockiness.
    My words wouldn’t come. I had to get out of his apartment. The air in the room thinned out and I felt like I was suffocating.
    Greg stood in front of the door. “Dani we need to talk about this. I fell in love with you. I am in love with you. This is not something I anticipated. Not right now.” He had a list of pathetic excuses. His voice was no longer audible, it became an annoying drone.
    With nothing left to say to him, I picked up my bag and reached for the doorknob. I don’t know how far I walked. I stopped at a phone booth somewhere on