Free Love Notes ((Book Two of the Heartbeat Series)) by Renee Lee Fisher Page B

forehead resting there and breathing lightly on my skin. I feel the tears that are coming from my brow line and I know that he is crying. Rand is so emotional. I feel a slight heave in his breathing as he still has not removed himself from my forehead area. “I love you so much, but…” He stops in his thought as the door opened and it was someone looking to visit another patient. Before we were interrupted by this person, I wanted to hear him finish what he was saying. I know I was weak but I was hanging on his last bit of our conversation. My thoughts are wondering, but what? What does he want to say that he could not? I am too weak to respond. He lifts up and walks to the other side of the room and brings to me a cup with water and a straw and holds it to my lips that are cracked and dry. I take a sip and feel this liquid flow through my mouth and I swallow it savoring its wetness. I lick my lips with moist water and Rand takes the cup and leans in and takes his tongue and traces my lips with it so slowly, that I tremble. I drank in his lips. I give in and give my head a slight lift toward him to kiss him, and I let him enter my mouth and I kiss him too out of desperation, or if my visions were correct this could be our permanent separation.
    The nightly nurse is too timely tonight as she enters and stops our kissing abruptly. She clears her throat, “Rand you have to leave now, it is past visiting hours and she needs her rest.” Rand turns to her and in a quick motion he is lying next to me and says, “I’m not leaving her, you can call security, but I need to be right here.” She looks at me and I nod that it is fine that he stays and I rest my head on his shoulder as I slightly move and we get comfortable lying next to one another.
    “Madison, he has slept here the past few nights. This is the first time I have seen him actually lie in a bed. I have seen him in the chair, out in the waiting room and on the edge of your bed hunched over. There is something so endearing in his blue eyes that make me cave on our hospital rules. Well, your monitor looks great. You are out of the woods now my dear. You did have us worried for a bit, but you are very strong.” As she exits, she turns off the dim light and we are left surrounded in the night’s darkness only lit by the colors on my monitor. Tucked gently into Rand, I feel his comfort and I only hope I am so wrong about what I may have seen earlier. “I love you Rand, I feel so tired.” My eyes are heavy and I slip into sleep.
    As the sun shines in the room, I awake to Rand who never left my side. He climbs off and slowly stretches. He is in desperate need of a shower, clean clothes a shave and a meal. “Rand, why don’t you get cleaned up here, I’m not going anywhere soon.” He smiles and leans into me and sweeps my hair from my face and kisses me so gently.
    “Yeah, okay, Killjoy hooked me up packing me clean clothes. I won’t be long.” As he gathers his bag and enters the bathroom, I smile and then it turns to a scowl as the door closes. In my mind I want to know why Killjoy would be bringing him a bag of clothes. Why is she taking care of him? I know that she is in fact here, not actually in my room but in the area. Hell, she could be right outside my hospital door.
    As my thoughts wander, I remember what I heard the doctors saying while I laid barely conscious. I think I heard them clear enough as they said, “So sad that she had to lose the baby.” I remember seeing them in my doorway. Had I been pregnant with Rand’s child? Wasn’t this just perfect timing that here I lost his child before he even had to know and he was already beginning to move on with Killjoy. I don’t think I will share the doctor’s conversation with him, at least not now, and I have a sudden sadness that I am feeling that I may have lost our child, a baby. Not that we planned at this time to have a baby but where we were in our relationship, we could have adapted quickly