Free Trying to Float by Nicolaia Rips Page B

opened on the second floor.
    A woman in a motorized wheelchair entered. Dressed in black, hunched over, her stringy black and white hair covered all but her toothless scowl. She pushed herself into the pack of princesses.
    â€œBACK, MIDGETS!”
    I turned to the girls and made my most polite introduction.
    â€œSmiley, Princesses. Princesses, Smiley. My mom says Smiley is one of the best artists ever.”
    As the door closed, Smiley spun her chair, pinning Rapunzel against the wall.
    â€œWhere’d you take my electricity?”
    â€œI don’t know,” cried Rapunzel. “I want to go home.”
    â€œMe too,” added Cinderella.
    â€œYou all have nice homes,” barked Smiley. “No one sneaks in at night and steals your heat. You don’t have to sleep in a lawn chair at the front door to catch them.”
    Mulan looked mystified. “Who’s stealing your heat?”
    Smiley’s mouth twisted. “They don’t leave calling cards.”
    The people in the hotel understood that Smiley would accuse each of them, over the years, of stealing her paintings, along with her electricity, her jewelry, and her thoughts. Despite this, the people in the Chelsea liked her and she liked them.
    The elevator doors opened onto the sixth floor, and the princesses ran out.
    My mom and I had set a long table for dinner. There was an ironed lace tablecloth, which had been my grandmother’s, flowers, candles, music, and four courses, with plenty of cakes and pies, served by a waiter from El Quijote, the Spanish restaurant in the lobby. I had been inspired by the ball scene in Cinderella .
    The girls calmed down, and everything seemed back on track.
    My chair was at the head of the table, where Mom placed a pillow to give the effect of a throne. When the princesses took their seats, I knew the banquet was a success. The princesses would go to school the next day and tell their friends, and they would tell their friends. Girls would beg me for an invitation.
    Halfway through the dinner, there was a knock at the door. Mother opened it.
    â€œI apologize for the interruption, but is your husband at home? I could use a word or two.”
    El Capitan.
    But wasn’t the Capitan’s visit that evening the most brilliant luck? Who better to drop in on the Princess Banquet than a man in uniform with a foreign accent.
    â€œHe’s visiting his mom in Omaha, but when he returns, I’ll tell him to find you.”
    The door began to close. But I was determined not to let the Capitan get away.
    â€œCapitan, there are some princesses I would like you to meet.”
    â€œI am certain that the Capitan has many things to do. And now is not a good time for him,” Mom insisted.
    â€œPrincesses?” the Capitan responded from the door. “I have known a few in my day, so it would not surprise me if I’ve already had the pleasure of meeting one or two of your guests.”
    â€œBut Capitan . . . ” my mother began.
    The Capitan entered the Princess Banquet.
    A gasp from the princesses.
    The Capitan was not in his uniform. The Capitan was not in anything—save his briefs.
    His black hair, usually combed tight against his scalp, was off in various directions; his monocle was cracked and dangling around his neck; and his right arm was red and swelling.
    â€œGood evening, Your Highnesses.”
    Rapunzel wheezed, “Please. I want to go home!”
    â€œAnd I would like to go home as well, my dear princess, but it has been desecrated. The Lady Hammersmith, my beloved, has not been right in the head, which is why I need to visit with the man of the house, my advisor. A magnificent example of pomposity!”
    â€œLady Hammersmith or my father?” I asked, though I probably knew the answer.
    â€œWhy, your father: an ass of the most excellent sort.”
    Mother, who was now setting a place for the Capitan, glanced at his arm.
    â€œThe