Free Zombie Surf Commandos from Mars! by Tony Abbott

1
    A Different Kind of Town
    The summer sun rose slowly over the town of Grover’s Mill. Liz Duffey stepped into the shadow of a giant glazed donut and waited for her two friends.
    Bong! The thirty-foot pastry clock sitting atop the Double Dunk Donut Den chimed the hour.
    â€œAh,” Liz sighed to herself. “Another day in —”
    Sssss! A stream of smoke rose in the sky.
    â€œ — The Weird Zone!”
    Liz gazed over at the giant pancake pan perched on the roof of Usher’s House of Pancakes, otherwise known as U-HOP. The pancake pan hissed the hour, every hour on the hour.
    Yes, thought Liz, the place was pretty weird. But the people were even weirder. She had a name for them, too: Zoners. Just about everybody who lived in Grover’s Mill was a Zoner — except her, of course. And her friends.
    Well, most of them.
    â€œHmmm,” she mumbled to herself. “Ten A.M. I wonder how long it’ll be before the first really weird thing happens.”
    â€œSpit on Mars!” a voice cried out.
    â€œNo,” Liz suddenly snapped back. “Spitting is disgusting. Besides, Mars is way too far. Wait, who said that?”
    â€œI did!” said the voice.
    Liz whirled around to see a quivering newspaper with legs. She pulled the paper down.
    Behind it was the face of Jeff Ryan, normally round and smiling. But now his expression was one of total shock. “Spit on Mars,” he repeated. “What … what could it mean?”
    Liz bit her lip and glared at the boy. She’d known Jeff since they were in first grade together. He was best friends with her best friend’s brother. He was okay, she thought, but … well, Jeff was in real danger of becoming a Zoner!
    He stood there, brushing back the zip haircut spiking up from his forehead. He silently mouthed the words he was reading. His forehead got more and more wrinkled.
    Liz took pity on him. “You know, Jeff, they always spell everything wrong in the Grover’s Mill Gazette. Read to me and I will translate.”
    Jeff brightened and began. “Exports at the Wells Lavatory discoed around stringy spit on the sour face of Mars a few dogs ago.” He looked at Liz.
    She thought for a second. “Experts at the Welles Observatory discovered a strange spot on the surface of Mars a few days ago?”
    Jeff nodded. “Ah, a spot on Mars.” He read some more. “No one can seem to explain it.”
    â€œI can explain it, Jeff,” said Liz. “It’s The Weird Zone. It’s Double Dunk Weirdness Time.” She pointed over at the Baits Motel, a huge fish-shaped building across from Dr. Orloff’s X-Rays Я Us Medical Clinic. “I mean, the whole place ought to be called Weirdo’s Mill!”
    The two kids began to walk up Main Street toward the beach.
    â€œSo you think it’s strange?” asked Jeff.
    Liz sighed. “Listen, Jeff, the first step in battling The Zone is seeing the weirdness. If you don’t, you could become one of them!” She narrowed her eyes and scanned the people on the street. “Zoners!” she hissed. “Ugh!”
    Jeff followed her stare. He ran his hand over his zip cut. “But aren’t other towns pretty much like ours?”
    â€œI hope not!” Liz gasped, her eyes glazing over like that big donut. “But if I ever get away, I’ll let you know.”
    Jeff nodded. “Sean Vickers has been away for almost the whole summer. When he comes back, maybe he can tell us what it’s like. Hey, when is he coming back, anyway?”
    â€œNever, if I can help it!” called a voice from behind both of them. They turned to see a girl in a W. Reid Elementary T-shirt and pink sunglasses. She had a beach towel tucked under her arm.
    It was Holly Vickers, Liz’s best friend since kindergarten. They did everything together.
    Holly smiled really big at both of them. “My goofy brother Sean is at some goofy