Free Closed Doors by Lisa O'Donnell Page A

is someone who’s not married. Connor was her maiden name, Michael,’ says Ma.
    ‘So why does everyone call her Mrs Connor?’ I ask.
    ‘No one does, only you. You call everyone Mrs,’ says Ma.
    ‘I do not,’ I say.
    ‘It’s an easy mistake to make. You’re still young.’
    Telling me I am young annoys me. My ma thinks I’m a baby all the time. Anyway they don’t hate Miss Connor any more, they call her Louisa because she’s going to be a married woman, and she’s not a slut any more or a prostitute. Also there will be a big party at the Bowling Club everyone will go to. Granny and Ma like a good party, especially Granny because she gets to sneak a few brandies into her hip flask. That’s what Da says anyway.
    Dirty Alice is furious about the whole thing. Everyone is a little afraid of Dirty Alice right now, everyone except me. I have beaten Paul MacDonald and I am the toughest lad in the world, but still, I don’t want to be rolling around the grass with Dirty Alice McFadden to prove it. She broke a window and says ‘fuck’ all the time, she also bit Fat Ralph on the leg. I bet he doesn’t care about her shiny hair now. Da says she needs a good hiding. Ma says she needs to move on and Granny says the whole family needs a priest to remove the angry spirit of Dirty Alice’s ma, who is probably not keen on the wedding at all.
    ‘She is probably up there not liking it one bit. The children need a mother but they also need a woman who goes to church and Maria was nothing if she wasn’t a good Catholic.’
    ‘Louisa’s not a Catholic, Ma, she’s divorced, so Maria up in heaven will have to lump it,’ says Da.
    ‘I suppose she will. He has a mother for Alice and Luke, that’s the main thing,’ says Granny.
    ‘He’s a lovely boy,’ says Ma.
    Always on about Luke, I bet he’ll be a bridesmaid.
    Ma is in an especially good mood because she passed all her exams and she can now go on to the next level of her Open University course, which she is delighted about. Da has also decided to be delighted about it and doesn’t care about the professor any more and we all have a heavy cake Granny bakes to celebrate. Da gets indigestion because of it and Ma has a small piece so as not to offend Granny, who thinks she’s a brilliant baker. Da says we have birds in the sky that wouldn’t eat the crumbs in our garden. I have a big piece because I like the frosting. Granny makes nice frosting. It’s not all bad with her baking.
    Ma talks about going to university in Glasgow and though Da bokes at the idea you can see Ma is serious and not to be stopped. She’s like a train, but with all the sleep she gets at night Granny says it’s a good thing and has improved her mood so we can all be happy, except Da, who is still sleeping on the sofa. He actually brings the lager home now, which he never did before. The cans have half-dressed women on the tin, I like to have a good look, but I keep getting caught by Ma or Granny and get slapped about the head. Now Da has to put a rag around his tin while he drinks, but I can still see their faces with the lovely red lipstick and the feet of their black stockings. They remind me of Miss Connor dancing in her living room, except with more clothes on. They do not remind me of Marianne. I don’t know why that is and I have no one to ask about it with Da busy with his beer and Ma busy with her learning. Granny isn’t very busy at all but she’d most likely drag me to the priest or tell on Marianne and have her dragged to the priest, or worse, have her arrested for showing her fanny off.
    I wish someone would arrest Dirty Alice; she wants to cancel the talent show and everything because she’s in a bad mood. Everyone disagrees with her and is against her. She’s got a long drippy face on her all the time because of this wedding. Even Luke is sick of it and actually opened his mouth to moan about her, which he never does.
    ‘She’s a terror in the house. Breaking things.