Free Closed Doors by Lisa O'Donnell

Marianne’s ma. I wonder if they’re still fighting like mad people.
    Dirty Alice isn’t saying much these days, which is a good thing because she’s usually such a blabbermouth. Mr McFadden and Mrs Connor go everywhere together. It must make her sick with rage.
    Da says it’s nice to see Mr McFadden looking so happy. Ma says the same and so does Granny. They like Mrs Connor better these days since she has a regular man in her life with two children.
    ‘She’s turned herself around all right,’ says Ma.
    ‘And seeing to that girl like she was her own daughter, which can’t be easy with the lip she gets from her. Hair brushed. Shoes shined. Not so dirty any more,’ says Granny.
    She’ll always be Dirty Alice to me, I think.
    ‘She’s a good woman. Haven’t I been telling you that for years?’ says Da.
    Paul MacDonald’s changed his tune too.
    ‘I think Dirty Alice is looking all right now,’ he says to me.
    ‘She’s a dog,’ I say.
    ‘She has nice long hair,’ says Fat Ralph.
    Paul MacDonald is girl mad but Fat Ralph isn’t, not usually, and to notice Dirty Alice and her hair makes me angry and so I call him a poof.
    ‘You want hair like Dirty Alice, don’t you?’ I say.
    ‘No, I’m just saying it’s long and shiny. What’s wrong with having hair that’s shiny?’
    ‘Nothing, unless you want it for yourself,’ I say.
    ‘I was just saying,’ says Ralph.
    ‘Well, don’t,’ I say.
    It made me fairly annoyed Dirty Alice was being noticed at all and I was upset at Fat Ralph because of all the people in the world he knows how much I hate Dirty Alice, even if her hair is shiny.
    Fat Ralph and I are not as friendly as we used to be. He’s hanging around with Paul, who’s not dribbling in the talent show any more. He’s going to be bobbing about with Fat Ralph doing something stupid probably and they haven’t asked me to bob about with them. I’m definitely not asking so I hope they make an arse of themselves, maybe one of them will fall over and split their head open or something like that. I can do fifty keepy-uppies in two minutes without dropping one time. Ma is going to be so proud of me, so is Da and Granny.
    Marianne has asked Tracey and Fiona to sing the song about the Japanese boy. This talent show is getting serious now and I’m wondering if it might actually happen. Tracey and Fiona have to wear their mas’ housecoats and paint their faces white and use eyeliner like Mrs Connor does on her eyes, all curly and dark. Tracey and Fiona are right excited. Marianne has also asked Dirty Alice to do the Highland fling. I don’t understand why Marianne doesn’t want to do everything any more. She’s great at everything. My ma says it’s called ‘delegating’ and Marianne is a clever girl to be sharing the responsibility.
    ‘Singing every song will hurt her throat and be boring for everyone else. There are other girls that can sing around here. She’s right to give them a chance,’ says Ma.
    I think maybe I should sing with the boys but I’d get laughed at and I don’t like to be laughed at. I’ll stick to the football. It’s more man-like.
    Anyway, Ma doesn’t know anything about Marianne. I think she isn’t singing all the songs because of Tricia Law. Marianne is sad and is afraid to sing probably. She knows we all know the scandal of her life and doesn’t want us looking at her or something, except me, she let me look at her all right, but it was a different kind of looking. I hope she doesn’t show it to anyone else because that would not be good for her reputation.
    ‘Reputation is everything,’ says Granny.

SIXTEEN
    IN THE NOTICES section of the local newspaper it says that Louisa Madeline Connor will marry Samuel John McFadden and that they’re delighted to announce it. When Da sees Mr McFadden he slaps him on the back and wishes him well. Ma and Granny give Mrs Connor a hug, except she’s not Mrs Connor any more and never was. She’s Miss Connor.
    ‘A Miss