Free Wool: A Parody by Woolston Howey Page A

can open a bar. People can get drunk of wool shots.
    We can smoke the wool. We can get high off the wool. Oh, I love wool. I will smoke up a lot of wool. How can anyone not love wool?
    We will survive. We will live a lot longer with wool. In wool we trust. Trust in no other. Trust not in cotton. Trust not in gold. Trust in wool. We wait for the wool to come to us.
    We can write wool poems. We can make wool jokes. Everything is wool. Wool is needed in the world. Wool is what we want. We are stronger with wool.
    I want to have dreams about wool. I won’t be able to sleep without thinking of wool. Wool is here to stay. There has never been anything like wool.
    Life without wool will not last. People will be depressed. Wool gives us hope. We can have wool parties. We can make wool pillows. We can have fun. We can have wool pillow fights and be happy.
    We can pray to God, to give us more wool. Wool will someday be at our doorstep. We will survive. Wool can make music. We can make violins with our wool. We can make drums with our precious wool.
    We must not underestimate the power of wool. Wool will control our minds. We will only think of wool. There will be nothing else to think about. We will only talk about wool. No one will be allowed to speak of anything else.
    Wool will keep everyone at peace. We can talk about wool all day and all night long. We can sing wool songs. We can make Christmas carols of wool. We will make wool presents. We will never get enough of wool. Wool decorations will be nice. Everyone can dress up for Halloween. People can dress up as wool people.
    Wool is the only thing that I know. Life is about wool. There can only be one thing that matters in life. Wool is life. There must be a wool Heaven. If there is a wool Heaven, then there must be a wool Hell.
    I wonder how wool sandwiches will taste like. Wool crackers might be delightful. I hope to taste all of them someday. I can make a recipe book of wool.
    I will write a bible of wool. We can all listen to the words of wool. It will be the best idea ever created. We can sing and praise about wool. Wool is the reason that we live.
    A world without wool is har d to imagine. I hope this is not a dream. I don’t want to wake up if this is a dream. I want this to be real. Wool is real. Wool will keep us here.
    We are the ones who have wool and no other. The others will try to take it from us. They may take our lives, but they will never have our wool. I will eat all the wool. I can keep it safe.
    When the time comes, we have to be ready. More wool will come into our lives. We must be prepared to use it wisely. We must not get greedy. We have to protect it. The wool is there for us. The wool is family. It is a part of us. Treat the wool the way you want to be treated. Treat it with respect. Honor it. Wool is coming. It may rain wool someday. We can make wool umbrellas. There is an idea. I wonder how I became so smart in the wool department. Wool is life. Praise the wool.