Free The (New and Improved) Loving Dominant by John Warren, Libby Warren Page A

areas are just what they sound like. You are in a room with other people and can chat back and forth by typing messages.
    Chat rooms are really nothing new. I first encountered chat rooms when I was a graduate student at Ohio State University in the mid-’70s. A local company, CompuServe, was looking for subscribers and I joined using 110-baud teletype (kids, ask your grandfather about those). One exciting aspect was what CS called “CB Simulator.” Just as it sounds, it was a chat room that worked like the contemporary Citizen’s Band radios. After searching a bit, I found one channel that catered to people with BDSM interests. Let’s just say there was a lot of paper at the end of each day to throw away and the introduction of a CRT screen was a blessing.
    Look at chat sites as if they are scene clubs, and message sites as if they were magazines carrying classified advertisements, and things become a lot clearer. In fact, a chat room can have an advantage over a scene club. In a scene club, there are a lot of factors coming into play that may be less than helpful for the average person. Because people can see each other, they often favor the beautiful people over the interesting people. Since ninety percent of the population isn’t beautiful, we tend to get the short end of the stick in such an environment. In chat, you only see the other person’s words. That can be a big advantage in getting to know him or her. Also, online, you don’t have to contend with the blasting music that some clubs substitute for ambiance. Some people like the challenge inherent in trying to lip-read whether the person they’ve just met is mouthing “You’re cute; I like you” or “You’ve backed into a candle and your jacket is on fire.” I don’t.
    The chat sites also combine an air of intimacy with a certain psychological distance. I know one male submissive who had a great deal of difficulty with the club scene because when his advances were rejected he tended to become so embarrassed that he would leave. When his offers were rejected in a chat he found that it didn’t quite have the same impact.
    Also, in a club, people are often thinking, “Who can I go home with tonight?” This doesn’t help when you are looking for a relationship. This attitude also tends to keep a significant portion of the scene population out of these places. In a chat room, things can move at a more sedate pace. People know you aren’t going leap through the screen at them so they can be more forthright about what they want and how they want it.
    In a message area, you can just leave a classified advertisement if the rules allow it, but this would be the equivalent of buying a Lotus to drive to the corner store. Usually on these message boards, series of messages appear, discussing all sorts of matters from whipping techniques to levels of submission. If you start replying to messages and expressing your opinion or asking questions, you can quickly develop a reputation on the board as a thoughtful, intelligent person, and you may well find that you are being approached by someone whose interests complement your own.
    I make it a point to post helpful hints regularly on the message centers where I have accounts. I also respond to requests for information. The posts can be as simple as a list of BDSM books I have found enjoyable or as technical as scene design and execution. In fact, many of the sections of this book first appeared as messages on Prodigy between 1989 and 1991 as informational posts.
    These notes allow cautious submissives to evaluate me as a dominant without even revealing their presence. They can get an idea of what my level of skill is and how closely my philosophy of BDSM matches what they are looking for.
    By the time they contact me, the “hook” is firmly set. All that is necessary is for me to decide the extent of involvement I will permit. In many cases, it is limited to guidance and advice; in others, the involvement can