Free The Lawyer by Alice Bright

              "So what changed? Did you really stop feeling all those emotions, all those feelings just because of one bad choice? Now I'm not," she hurried to add, "justifying what he did. Not on any level. Tim was wrong. Tim was very wrong and I don't think that you have any obligation to continue the relationship after what he did. But are you really telling me that you don't still think about him? You lived together. You were committed to him. You were loyal and you were together a long time."
              I sighed. She was right. Everything that she was saying was right, but I didn't want it to be. I knew that it would be unfair to Alex to jump into a relationship before I had "found" myself. I still felt so angry at Tim, so hurt, so betrayed over what he had done. It didn't seem very fair to anything or anyone. None of it was fair. But did that give me the right to drag Alex into my drama and my baggage? Was it fair to expect him to deal with it?
              "What would you do," I asked Molly, "if you were in my shoes?"
              She paused and thought for a moment before answering. "You know that I'd pray about it," she told me, "but I'd also want to sort out my own emotions. You don't want to jump headfirst into a relationship with Alex. He seems so amazing, Liz. Just don't mess it up by trying to force something before you're ready."
              "He's really wonderful."
              "I know. But you also work together, too. So how's it going to affect your job if you have a problem? How's it going to affect your career if you end up breaking up?"
              I sighed and reached for my water bottle. "It's just too much to think about."
              "So don't think," Molly said. "Just do what feels right."
    ***
                  Living with Alex wasn't weird. It was actually very comfortable, and we managed to settle in to a strange routine that somehow seemed to work for us. Alex often locked himself away in his room to work on case files in the evenings, which was fine since I was either in class or working on homework at night. We shared breakfast together, but not much else. For the most part, our lives were still very separate, and Alex demanded nothing of me. He didn't ask me to do chores, to tell him where I would be at any point, or talk about work when we were at home. We had not, as of a week living together, actually done anything more than kiss.
              But I wanted to.
              Badly.
              Alex was still Alex at home. He didn't change who he was around me, but he was softer. He put aside the tough lawyer exterior when we were alone. I got to see the softer side of him, and it was something that I guessed not too many people actually got to enjoy.
              We were curled up on the couch one evening watching Angel reruns. My head rested gently on his shoulder. His arm was wrapped around me. Alex was almost mesmerized by the television when I finally asked him, "Is there something wrong with me?"
              He looked shocked. "What?"
              "Is there something wrong with me?" I repeated, waving my arm across my body. Was I too fat? Too chubby? Too short? Too weird? Was I not a good enough employee? Was I just not his "type"? What was it?
              "Why would you think there was something wrong with you, Beautiful?" He asked, looking genuinely surprised at my lament. "I think you're perfect just the way you are."
              "That's a line," I said firmly. "And it's been a week since you first kissed me. And nothing. Why haven't we slept together? Do you not like me?"
              Alex sighed and flicked off the television. As the screen went black, he turned to me. "I think you're amazing, Elizabeth. Everything