Free U.G.L.Y by H. A. Rhoades

around town. They had to have heard about what was coming, but as we drove through town there was no sense of alarm or even a weariness to our arrival . We pulled into a strip mall that had a few restaurants and a grocery store. On the corner was a gas station.
    “ We need to get supplies and fuel ” I said to Eve “ I f everything is cool lets take the time to have a sit down meal, it might be the last time for a while ”
    “ I'll get food ” she tipped her head to the side and tapped her finger on her lower lip “ Should I pick up some cocktails while I'm there? ”
         She was starting to seem cute to me. S he had these little mannerisms that I found attractive. I didn't like the idea of finding her appealing. I could deal with being physically attracted to her because the thought of simply having sex had some appeal to me . But I had to keep it separate from being emotionally attracted.
    I couldn't stand the thought of falling emotionally, even slightly, for her. I didn't do emotional attraction well at all and felt almost panic at the thought of falling in love with someone. Love in my experience was painful. I just didn't deal with it well. I had a lot of trouble figuring out how to go out with women and not begin to find them irresistible. So I spent a lot of energy avoiding getting that close to someone .
    “ Sure, why not ” I said to her “ A little booze can always come in handy ”
         Eve walked off towards the store as I drove towards the gas station. I needed to fill all the gas cans and buy one more while I was t here. Cash was running low and I didn't know when I could get more.
    It didn't seem likely that money would be any good pretty soon. As society began to fail there would be less and less opportunity to barter with money. Things that would be more valuable would be water and fuel.
         Oregon was different than California when it came to service. At the gas pump an attendant happily greeted me and offered to fill up the car. I agreed and explained that I needed to fill all the cans on top of the car and and get one more from inside. The attendant shuffled off to grab a new can and another proceeded to fill up the car.
    Eve walked out of the store across the parking lot pushing a cart. I watched her walk toward the gas station and let my mind wonder what it would be like to be with her. It was a pleasant thought, and I began to fantasize about her.
         After all the gas cans were filled and the groceries were loaded, we made our way over to a little steakhouse and made ourselves comfortable. Eve talked about how, when things were better she would be a famous skier and compete in freestyle events. She talked almost continuously, and I'm not sure if she was saying these things to try to impress me or was just talking to hear herself.
    I asked her mindless questions to keep her talking. I knew most of what she said was completely made up. I humored her anyway. Her banter reminded me of Amanda's mindless self important ramblings about nothing. I had grown to be bitter and normally didn't like people that spoke like that.
    If she was intellectual at all, she chose not to share it . Maybe she thought that’s what men wanted to hear. I didn't and I struggled at first not to tune her out. After a while I was numb and her pretend world seemed to be come a world my mind was willing to go for the moment .
         The meal was good, very good. T he steak was cooked just right and it was smothered in sautéed mushrooms. I added a nice cold micro brew, cheese bread, and another beer followed. It was a wonderful dinner and it felt like a date.
    It was very odd to forget for a time the horrors of the last few days but we managed to clear it away for a moment. Another very strange thing was happening, and it took a while for us to really notice.
    No one around us was talking about what was happening. No body was. I wondered h ow that could be possible? There was no way this town was so