Free Abbie's Gift by M. R. THOMAS

well, or maybe she did, in another way, in between wakeful.  She was aware of nodding off and then stirring throughout the night, without understanding what exactly was keeping her awake.
    In the morning Abbie went for a walk to the local shops, returning with a newspaper and some ground coffee and biscuits for her guests, along with fresh salad, vegetables and cooked meats for Kate.
    The morning seemed to pass slowly.  Abbie tried to read the paper and do the crossword, but it was hopeless, her mind seemed unable to rise to occasion to produce any sort of result, so she gave up after managing only one clue. This convinced Abbie that her mind was not yet operating as she wanted it to, and that her recovery from her grief was in fact a process that she couldn’t control. It was as if she were merely a passenger in an emotional journey, powerless and out of control. 
    Suddenly, Abbie realised she could do something positive, something that could change things for her. Quickly and without much thought she telephoned the school where she worked, and spoke with the secretary who seemed genuinely glad to hear from her. Abbie explained she hoped to return to work soon and made an appointment to see the head teacher about it during the next week.
    When she put the phone down Abbie felt positive now that she was being…what was the word…proactive, that’s it. She knew being at home wasn’t conducive to her recovery; she needed her own life back again.
    It had been several days since she had felt that wretched, that hopeless, and had had that overriding sense of uncontrollable emotion rising within her, so that’s may be progress she thought.
    At just before 1pm, Abbie noticed a large dark blue car pull up outside and a smartly dressed silvery-haired man in a similar-coloured dark blue suit got out, followed by a very young-looking and smartly dressed young woman who appeared from the other side of the vehicle.
    Abbie had dressed in comfortable smart clothes which she had chosen carefully: a patterned black and white shirt, slim black trousers and black kitten-heeled court shoes.  She didn’t want to appear too dolled-up, but neither did she want to seem neglectful of her appearance. Despite this, she somehow felt uncomfortable and almost awkward in what she had chosen to wear, her limbs seeming to rebel inside the fabric tunnels of cloth that surrounded them.
    Abbie waited a few moments before opening the door, rather than give the impression of having waited by the window and watching them arrive.
    Paul Stokes introduced himself and his young female colleague, who turned out to be Lesley Whittle, the HR manager.
    She looks too young, Abbie thought to herself.
    Once inside they sat in the lounge while Abbie made coffee, serving it in matching mugs that she retrieved especially from the back of the cupboard. Lesley sat perched on the end of her seat looking uncomfortable, and Abbie wondered if it was her first time at a meeting such as this. Paul Stokes, on the other hand, looked relaxed, as though he’d done this sort of thing a hundred times before.  He appeared to be in his early 50’s and, on face value, Abbie thought that he seemed nice, but also wondered what sort of boss he was.
    Paul turned to Abbie and stated “the reason for this visit is to tie up some loose ends, and offer you our continued support”.
    Before Abbie had chance to respond, Paul produced an envelope from his briefcase and handed it to her.
    “Please” he said, “look inside and I’ll explain”.
    Abbie sat looking at this small oblong envelope in her hands and then opened it quickly; she was completely taken aback to see a cheque payable to her for £99,000.00
    “This” explained Paul Stokes “is a benefit for employees and their families.  If someone passes away during their employment, their allocated person, and for Peter that was you, receives an immediate payment of three times their salary”.
    Abbie felt the cheque tremble in her