Free False Regret: Pikorua - Book 1 by Angela Reid Page B

protect each other. It’s not safe for you to stay with
me, either. I will go to a hotel and hope the security is tight.” The thought
of being on my own again was utterly terrifying.
    “Ellia,
there is no way I am letting you stay alone. Come on, let’s go.”
     I
wanted to argue, I truly did, but I was exhausted and overwhelmed. His arms
around me gave me more comfort than I could’ve imagined possible.
    We
discovered my house had been ransacked, leaving my belongings upturned and
broken. The officer called for an investigative team, and after two more hours,
I was finally able to gather up a light bag. I located my purse and found its
contents strewn about the dining room table. No money or credit cards were
taken, indicating to the police, robbery was not the motive. The only thing missing
was my cell phone, which lent weight to my story since the goal was to find my
dad. 
    Dizzy
and ready to collapse as my blood sugar plummeted. The cops set up a room for
us at a motel, finally taking my situation more seriously and putting a guard
on us. We made a brief stop at Matt’s place to pick up his clothes. I relayed
an abbreviated version of my saga on the way to the motel. The place was a
run-down little brick building with a flat roof that sat on the edge of town,
almost in neighborhood, but it offered apartment-style accommodations so we
wouldn’t have to venture out for much. I always thought it was an odd place for
a motel, not close to the main thoroughfare like the others, but it filled up
during the summer, due to its location on the shore of Lake Michigan.
    Guilt
sat heavy on my shoulders for not telling Matt about Cade. I was still too
afraid to share that piece of information, even with him. Although I’d told
Matt I lost a boy I loved very much when I was young, I never gave him any
details of that either. He had no idea what Cade meant to me, or the mess I’d
found myself after he died. I got sick, mentally and physically which led to a
lot of illicit behavior and addiction. It was another aspect of my life I
refused to think about or talk about with anyone. I was so ashamed of the
person I became after Cade’s death. My way of coping with the unpleasantness,
was to push it down deep inside me and never bring it up for review or
reflection. Matt knew my commitment issues stemmed from something painful, but
he didn’t push me to expose the root, and for that I was grateful. Even after a
decade, I could not face those things. The only way I made it through every
day, was just to focus on the present and the future, letting the past sit
behind a dark shroud.
    “You
don’t look so good, Ellia,” said Matt. “Do you need to go back to the hospital?
Please tell me the truth, baby. I don’t have any idea what to do here.”
    The
tears fell again. “No, I’m just … exhausted.” It was true. I was completely
drained in every sense. I wanted to sleep so my mind would quiet.
    Matt
got me two ibuprofen and tucked me into the queen bed that sat in a small room
off the kitchenette. “First thing in the morning, you are going to a doctor if
you don’t look any better.” He touched his lips to my forehead. “Get some rest,
babe. I am here and so is that cop outside in his car. I won’t let those
bastards hurt you ever again.” He got up, but I pulled him down on the bed with
me.
    “Please
hold me, Matt,” I begged. I scooted over, and he crawled in next to me. I could
sense the tension in him. He was scared and fraught with a million more
questions. Matt was the most patient, gentle man I had ever known, and he would
take of me.
    “I
Love you, Ellia,” he whispered, kissing the top of my head. “You are my
everything.”
    “I
love you, too,” I said, and it was true. I loved him but not the way he loved
me. Guilt and sadness for not being what he deserved, weighed heavy on my
heart.
    Despite
my fatigue, sleep eluded me, but I pretended for Matt’s benefit.  I figured he
was too wired to sleep,