Free Irresistible by Liz Bankes

that,” he says, half smiling.
    I sit back down on the grass, surprised at myself. I’m never the first to go for the kiss. Usually my head’s full of paranoid thoughts like,
What if he’s so repulsed by my kissing him he throws up?
or
What if I kiss wrong and no one ever told me?
or
What if he wants to go further and I’m not sure?
But right here, in this place with Dan, it doesn’t feel like part of normal life.
    “So, last night. Did you kiss all the boys?” Dan holds out a bowl full of strawberries.
    “Ha. Yep, every last one.”
    My stomach lurches as a memory comes back to me. Oh my God. I kissed Cleo. I kissed Jamie’s girlfriend. I remember Jamie’s “attention-seeking” comment. Maybe I was just being used. Or I wanted a bit of attention. I think I do have a slight crush on her, though. Mostly because she’s so much cooler and more confident than me. She initiated it. I just sort ofresponded. Plus, there was the alcohol. I’d have kissed my weird cousin Hugh after that much champagne.
    Okay, maybe I wouldn’t go that far.
    “Are you okay?” Dan says. “You look a bit … disgusted.”
    “Sorry, I was … thinking about something.” I look up at him. I’ve got to make an effort. He can’t do all this just for me to sit here in silence. I’ve got to put effort into people who matter. Not people who aren’t even nice to me.
    My phone buzzes.
    “Sorry, it’s my friend Gabi. Do you mind if I reply?”
    “No, go ahead.”
    I’ve got about ten missed calls from home, so I also text Mom to say I’ll be back in a few hours. Gabi immediately replies, inviting me to watch a DVD at Han’s later. I’ve got a happy, buzzing feeling running through me, and when I put my phone away, Dan asks about Gabi and I just start talking, telling him about all our stupid private jokes and even the top-secret dances we made up to One Direction. He tells me about his friends, like Josh who drew a huge penis in weed killer on the school soccer field on senior prank day, and I start telling him about the girls at my school who brought a pig into class.
    He’s leaning back on his elbows and I’m lying on my front playing with blades of grass.
    The sun beats down on us and the lake sparkles.
    I feel like I could stay here forever.

Chapter 15
    As we walk back down the hill again, Dan offers me his arm. We walk along like an old-fashioned couple. There’s a warmness between us, and I want to squeeze his arm and tell him I’d like to spend as much time with him as possible. But a few worries surface as the lovely scenery of the picnic melts away and we get back into town. Are we a “thing” now? Have I implied I want to be a “thing”? Does that mean I have to tell him stuff, like I’ve started kissing random women?
    It would be nice if I could just enjoy things without getting a flood of worry afterward. I look over at Dan. The sun is bouncing off his face and he looks completely relaxed as he swings the now much emptier basket in his other hand.
    We get to my house and, with the worst timing in the world, Mom, Jeff, and Matthew are just getting out of the car after doing the weekly shopping. I drop Dan’s arm and see Mom’s eyes widen and her hands tense around a box ofRice Krispies as she clearly decides in her head exactly why I stayed out last night.
    “This is, um, Dan,” I say, gesturing awkwardly in his direction. “This is Mom, Jeff, and Matthew.”
    Matthew blinks through his glasses. “Hello.” Then he looks at me. “You look green.”
    “Thanks,” I say, narrowing my eyes at him. I would usually kick him, but I figure Dan would think I was a bit immature. I’ll kick him later.
    “Hi, man,” says Dan and holds out his hand. Matthew shakes it absentmindedly and then says, “I’m going to read my encyclopedia,” and disappears into the house. I forgot to warn Dan my brother isn’t normal.
    Mom steps forward and shakes his hand. “Emma,” she says. “That’s probably better than