Free Cthulhurotica by Cody Goodfellow, Silvia Moreno-Garcia, Jennifer Brozek, Ahimsa Kerp, Carrie Cuinn, Gabrielle Harbowy, Don Pizarro, Madison Woods, Richard Baron, Juan Miguel Marin, Maria Mitchell, Mae Empson, Nathan Crowder, KV Taylor, Andrew Scearce, Constella Espj, Leon J. West, Travis King, Steven J. Searce, Clint Collins, Matthew Marovich, Gary Mark Bernstein, Kirsten Brown, Kenneth Hite, Justin Everett Page A

need the actual brain, any information-processing device will suffice. Edison, Einstein, and you have mastered atomic and electrical energy, yet the energy of an atomic bomb pales in comparison to the energy released in a human orgasm. Einstein’s discovery, gravitational attraction inside an atom’s nucleus, pales in comparison to the electricity of sexual attraction.
    “We both have been studying the mathematics of your sexual fantasies; such study has allowed us to experience lust. We both want you. We wanted to kidnap you and bring you home. Unfortunately we need your erotic attraction to you so it has to be willing. We are departing for our home planet, Yuggoth, in a night and a day, when its orbit aligns with our location. We will come back to your dreams, tomorrow night. You then have to give us your answer. If we cannot entice you with our bodies, would millennia of scientific knowledge be enough?”
    And suddenly the waterfall turns into a geyser, no, into a whitewater rapid. I’m swept by an orgasmic blinding white ecstasy, pleasuring both my body and my mind. The rapid carries me and throws me into my bed, leaving me covered in sweat, uncomfortably wet and fully awake. Now I have a new question to confront and I have less than twenty-four hours. Only one thing I do not have yet.
    An answer.

Ahimsa Kerp
TURNING ON, TUNING IN, & DROPPING OUT AT THE MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS
    “You are such a drag. You just need to split,” Euphoria told him. She had just been woken up and felt really spaced out. She moved her hand to slide the van’s door closed, but his body blocked her. Tim had found her napping and had come in uninvited. He knew she didn’t like it when people came into her bus without her blessing.
    “Mellow out, Euphie, please” he pleaded. His voice was whiny, as it always was when he wanted something. “Don’t be like this. We were good together.” Tim was lean and lanky. He wore, as always, grungy jeans and a battered leather vest, complete with raggedy fringes on the sleeves. His chest was otherwise bare and mostly hairless.
    “Good together?” she asked. That just wasn’t true. She’d never liked Tim. She had just shacked up with him when she got to town because he had good weed. They’d dated for two or three weeks and then she stopped seeing him. The message should have been clear enough. “Since when? You are being a major square, man. You will get bad karma. Now, flake off. My friends are coming over,” she said.
    “Fine, I’ll split. You never treated me right, anyway.” Tim’s eyes grew crafty. “I have new friends now. I don’t need you. I’ll go. But I want my star back.”
    The star he referred to was a beautiful rock she wore on a hemp necklace. It looked volcanic, but was heavier than pumice and not as purely black as obsidian. Tim said it was from the Soviet Union and had come from outer space in the forties. He thought it looked like the sun when you were stoned, with squiggly rays of light ringing the bottom half of the sphere. Euphoria had always though it looked like an octopus.
    There was no way she was giving it back to him. “That was my birthday present. What’s your bag, man? Don’t be an LBJ.”
    Tim’s eyes flashed anger. “I want that fucking star back, Euphie. I only gave it to you because I thought you would steal it if I didn’t.” She was surprised. She in fact had been planning on stealing it, but she didn’t know that he had known.
    Truth be told, stealing pretty things was kind of a problem for her.
    Euphoria looked around at her microbus. It was in pretty good condition, considering the long drive from Iowa, but it hadn’t been cleaned for a while. Scarves, bracelets, rings, and her rags covered the floor, her bed still was out, and some macramé needles and pins she had borrowed in Kansas City were scattered all over the place. It was a mess and there was no way she was going to look for the necklace right now. Not for him.
    “Tim, I don’t