Free The Last and the First by Ivy Compton-Burnett Page B

else, and that does not do nothing for it. Though it is hard to see how a deep feeling could arise in so short a time.”
    â€œIt could for Hermia. We must see it did,” said Roberta. “She roused love at first sight, really a rare achievement.”
    â€œEspecially in a woman of my type,” said Hermia, with a smile. “I could see that Mater thought so. She seemed to be viewing me in a new light.”
    â€œWe must all do that in a way,” said Madeline. “It does suggest there is something about you that we missed in our family life. Though that may hardly be the sphere for it.”
    â€œFor what arouses feeling at first sight?” said Roberta. “No, it is not the sphere. Its opportunities are different.”
    â€œWe must forget the whole thing,” said Hermia. “No one but ourselves is to know about it.”
    â€œIt is not anything to be ashamed of,” said Madeline. “Though perhaps hardly a cause for pride. And I think simple openness is best in everything.”
    â€œI am sure it is not,” said Roberta. “So many things are better hidden. What of some of our little actions and most of our thoughts? Is simple openness really the treatment for them?”
    â€œNot for the noble ones,” said Angus. “We remember when they met it, and the embarrassment it caused.”
    â€œI suppose we should not have felt embarrassment,” said Madeline.
    â€œShould we ever feel it?” said Roberta. “The instances of it are seldom morally justified.”
    â€œWell, is the conclave ended?” said Eliza. “Have you come to your decision? Are you prepared for a change in our family life? We ought to be ready for one. The time is ripe.”
    â€œNo, no, my dear,” said Sir Robert, looking at the faces.
    â€œYou know the decision,” said Hermia. “And it was only I who had to make it.”
    â€œBut you made it in haste. You were to reconsider it. Is the result still in the balance?”
    â€œIt is what you know. The matter is as if it had not been. It could only have one fate.”
    â€œWell, then, there it is, Hermia,” said Eliza, in anothertone. “You will live your life as you have lived it, in doubt and discontent, always seeking for something beyond your range. And this that falls into your hands, and would give you so much, you cast from you as if it were nothing, as if you had something in its stead. And what have you but a chance that a school may succeed, and a poor chance of that?”
    â€œAnd a poor thing in itself. I see it as a poor thing. It meant a chance of other things, and may still mean a chance of them. Though, as you say, a poor one. I see it as it is.”
    Eliza turned and went into the hall and sank into a chair to weep. Her husband followed and she spoke to him through her tears.
    â€œWe shall never be free of them, never have our home to ourselves. Always have them here with their judging looks and their set and self-satisfied thoughts. When we were married I did not think of their never leaving us. I thought that in time our home would be our own, that Roberta would be your daughter and would not have the third place. And she will always have it. Things will always be the same.”
    â€œIt is not her place with me. You know it, and so does she. And I think so do they.”
    â€œI am not so sure. They feel they have the prior claim. They say it is their birthright, theirs as a matter of course. Their presence is a part of everything. And I did think one of them might be gone.”
    â€œShe is doing her best. Your hope is really hers. If she fails it is not her fault. I wish a change could be made, but you know how matters stand. Money is scarce and will remain so.”
    â€œHas she made it any more plentiful? My children ask for little and have less. And this chance she thrusts aside,as if it was one of many. And she may never have another. Why should she have