Free Folly by Jassy Mackenzie

at least. The actions I’d have to perform were uncharted territory.
    A minute later he was out, walking towards me, eyes downcast.
    â€˜Ah. You have an appointment with me, I see, Mr … er … Lowly.’ I spoke in officious tones as I glanced down at the diary in front of me. ‘I am the Director of Human Resources. You may call me Mistress Caine.’
    â€˜Yes, Mistress Caine.’
    â€˜Please stand there.’ I pointed to a spot on the floor and he shuffled his feet into place.
    â€˜Now, it is never pleasant to have to call you in for bad news, but in this case I have no choice. We have looked at your most recent performance review and it is extremely disappointing.’
    â€˜I am sorry,’ he muttered, head bowed, his fingers twisting nervously in front of him.
    â€˜Not only have you not completed your tasks timeously, but your superiors have also noted a number of accounting errors in your work which are entirely unacceptable. Have you been losing concentration while you do your calculations?’
    â€˜No, no, I have been concentrating, of course, I don’t think I’ve been too distracted by anything recently …’
    â€˜In addition, I’ve been told you are a poor timekeeper and you’ve been clocking in late three or four days a week.’
    â€˜I – er – I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I – the one time I had car trouble and …’
    â€˜Mr Lowly, I don’t want your excuses,’ I spat at him.
    Poor little overachiever that he was, who had probably never been late a day in his life, nor ever made an accounting error, actually took a step backwards as he cowered away from my anger.
    â€˜That is not the most serious reason why you have been called here, though,’ I said.
    I let the silence build between us until he looked up, peering at me apprehensively, and asked, ‘What is that reason?’
    â€˜I have a report from one of the branch secretaries right here on my desk,’ I tapped my finger on the open diary. ‘She said that when she delivered a document to your office last Tuesday, she saw that you were indulging in unacceptable behaviour.’
    â€˜What behaviour was that?’
    â€˜She said you were masturbating, Mr Lowly.’
    â€˜I – no, I was …’
    â€˜Her exact words in this written complaint are: “I noticed Mr Lowly was fondling his cock as I placed the shareholders’ report on his table.”’
    â€˜Absolutely not. That is totally untrue. I would never do such a thing. Ever. In front of a female colleague … no! The idea is preposterous!’
    â€˜Unfortunately she has signed an affidavit to back up her complaint. We cannot ignore this, Mr Lowly. Masturbation at work is an extremely serious offence. As a result of the signed affidavit, and of course taking into account your poor performance and slack attitude towards the execution of your job, I will now need to take the appropriate disciplinary action.’
    â€˜What will you need to do, Mistress?’
    â€˜Well, I do not want to bring the company’s name into disrepute by calling in any outside mediators to help resolve this issue.’ I steepled my fingers together and propped them under my chin, wishing that I was wearing a pair of glasses to stare at him over.
    â€˜I understand,’ he said softly.
    â€˜In very serious cases like yours, I’m afraid it will be necessary to put into practice the company’s internal disciplinary procedure.’
    â€˜And what does that involve, Mistress?’
    â€˜If you could start by taking off your jacket and tie, please.’
    â€˜Take off my … but why? Where shall I put them?’
    â€˜You can hang them over the back of that chair there. And undo your cuffs and the top two buttons of your shirt.’
    I waited while he complied.
    â€˜Now remove your shoes and socks, Mr Lowly.’
    â€˜I don’t understand