Free Euphoria Lane by Tina Swayzee McCright

da . . .” Meg joined in, flattening herself against the wall.
    Andi sneaked a peek around the corner.
    Meg dropped and rolled to the next bush.
    Unwilling to drop and injure herself, Andi quickly walked to the bush. “We already have pictures of both of them breaking the rules,” Andi whispered. “Why are we following them now?”
    “Because it’s fun.” Meg bent low and ran to the next building with Andi close behind. “Besides,” Meg continued, “sending Luke the pictures felt great, but he’s not going to send Harry a violation letter for running over the fire hydrant.”
    “But we sent him evidence,” Andi protested. “He has to.”
    “When a violation is iffy, like parking on a hydrant because someone cut your brakes, it’s his job to take the case to the board to decide.”
    A feeling of defeat settled in her gut. “The board will defend Harry. Luke failed to mention that particular loophole.” Andi leaned away from the wall to see what Harry was doing now. “Come on ! He’s busy taking a picture of a potted plant.”
    They ran and hid behind a truck.
    “You’re not allowed to have a potted plant near your front door,” Meg shared. “Only on your back porch.”
    “That must be rule number two hundred fifty-three,” Andi said sarcastically.
    Pressed flat on the cement driveway, both women peered underneath the truck’s running board to watch the board president snap a picture of Roxie walking her Chihuahua without a leash.
    The aging woman wore leopard-print spandex pants and a matching shirt. Her dog, wearing a rhinestone-studded collar, barked incessantly at Harry.
    Roxie flipped the man off between puffs of her filtered cigarette. “Get a life, prune face!”
    Harry snarled and snapped more pictures.
    Roxie turned, yanked the back of her pants down, bent over, and mooned the two board members. Valerie screeched, Harry yelled obscenities, and Andi’s jaw dropped.
    “It’s fake.” Meg elbowed Andi and chuckled. “Her tush is fake.”
    The older woman shot a devilish grin at the spies before pulling her pants back up. The barking grew louder as the miniature pet followed its owner down the path leading to the pool. Harry must have been in shock; he hadn’t snapped a single photo.
    “Oh, my!” Andi shifted away from the truck, hoping Harry and Valerie couldn’t see them.
    Meg snorted between giggles.
    “How can Roxie’s tush be fake?” Andi whispered.
    “She ordered a plastic, strap-on derriere online to fill out her spandex pants. Her real bum is as flat as a pancake.” Meg’s grin lit up her eyes. “Harry only saw plastic, but he doesn’t know that.”
    “He’ll never recover.” Andi snuck a peek at Roxie and her dog, ambling along in the opposite direction. “Roxie saw us,” she whispered. “Do you think Harry figured out we’re here, too?”
    “Nah,” Meg answered. “When Valerie’s around, he thinks with his—”
    “Toupee,” Andi finished, sneaking another peek in his direction.
    Harry leaned toward Valerie for a kiss. The gold digger glanced about for witnesses, then apparently, satisfied there were none, planted a kiss on his cheek.
    Andi slapped her hands over her eyes and moaned. “How can she kiss him? I don’t care how much money he has.”
    “Does the word gross come to mind?” Meg stepped away from the side of the truck. “Come on. They’re going into Harry’s condo. The coast is clear.”
    Andi breathed a sigh of relief. “I never want to see anything that revolting ever again.”
    “Too bad. You will as long as we keep spying on Harry. Let’s check on Helen. She’ll break at least one rule now that they’ve finished their rounds. I’m betting on two or three.”
    “So all of these board members break the rules they push on the rest of us?”
    “Behind Harry’s back,” Meg stated flatly.
    Disgusted, Andi shook her head and then followed her new friend down the street. “Does the reverend break the rules, too?”
    “Not usually.