Free Outside Beauty by Cynthia Kadohata Page B

frowning, fingertips resting on her mouth. Her face, without makeup, looked like a little girl’s. With makeup, her beauty sometimes seemed to have a subtle cruelty, but now she looked innocent. It was weird that makeup could make such a difference in her face.
    She reached her hand out to mine, and I stepped next to the bed and held it. “Shelby, I’ve never told you this, but your father is a very good man. I trust that man. He’s just a bit . . . out of touch.”
    â€œOut of touch with what?” I said.
    â€œWell, everything,” she said.
    The nurse came in. “The doctor is here to talk about your surgery tomorrow.” Mom squeezed my hand. “You take care of Maddie. I know you will.”
    And so we were off to the airport. Maddie leaned against me the whole way in Mack’s car.
    In the airport we walked as slowly as we could. We were still “us.” All the way up to the gate, we were still “us.” We stopped at the gate.
    â€œI don’t like new things!” I said. “I don’t like change. I like everything to stay the same.”
    â€œHow do you know what you like if you never try anything new?” Mack said.

    We heard the lady from the counter say, “Final boarding call.”
    I almost threw up. I couldn’t believe this was really going to happen. I was going away. I was leaving my perfectly happy life for an unknown life with my father, and I hardly even knew him. Maybe he wasn’t even my father but my mother had told him he was. Maybe it was all a mistake, in which case nobody but my mother knew the truth. Yes, that was it! My going away was all wrong.
    â€œYou’ve gotta go, Shelby,” Marilyn said. “Quick group hug.”
    The four of us hugged, and Maddie and I slung our carry-on bags over our shoulders and boarded the plane. She cried almost the whole way during the trip, saying she missed Lakey and Marilyn and she was going to miss me worst of all. I felt the same way, except about her. And then she suddenly stopped crying and seemed almost cool.
    On the connecting flight Maddie started to breathe hard and fast. I put my arm over her shoulder and pulled her close. She slowed down her breathing, but her face still looked panicked. “I can’t go,” she said.
    â€œYou have to.”

    â€œI can’t. We have to tell them to cancel the plane.”
    â€œShhh.”
    A woman leaned over and said, “Planes are safer than any other type of transportation.”
    Maddie looked at her as if she were a ghost. Neither of us answered her at first. Then I said, “Thank you.”
    The plane had propellers. My mother said a plane with propellers was the sign that you were going to a rinky-dink destination. I was kind of nervous about the small plane, but I tried not to show it to Maddie. I was the grown-up now and was responsible for my little sister.
    â€œI lost my list of phone numbers,” Maddie said. She started pulling clothes out of her bag as she rummaged for the list of numbers.
    â€œI have mine,” I said. “I’ll make you a new list. We’ll get a pencil from the stewardess.” But the person behind us had a pen, so I used that, copying down all our phone numbers. I gave it to Maddie, and that seemed to calm her.
    When we landed, we had to walk down stairs that were wheeled out to our plane. The first person I saw inside the airport was my father. My heart sank at the sight of him. He wasn’t even slightly exotic,Japanese-wise. He was dressed in a green golf shirt and plaid pants. He was an embarrassment to the very idea of exoticness. He wore heavy glasses. He was balding already. I could see even Maddie was surprised by the vision of my father. On the other hand, Larry had told us about an ancient Chinese philosopher named Chuang Tzu. Chuang Tzu’s heroes in his stories had names like Cripple Lipless and Uglyface. And these heroes were superior to royalty.