Free Fanmail by Mia Castle

and ‘Doesn’t he have his own transport?’
    Thankfully, there was one person who would give her soul to drive Jazzy D somewhere.
    ‘I’ll take him,’ said Aggie in a hushed tone, so that her dad and my mum both stopped dead in their tracks and then Mum said quickly, ‘Cat, you go too, seeing as you’re the one who knows him.’
    Jazzy shrugged again and flipped a hand up at Dean. ‘Later, bro.’
    Dean’s face was a picture, I have to say, but he recovered quickly enough to say, ‘I’ll get you some clothes,’ before his beloved daughter and not-so-beloved soon-to-be step-daughter got into a small car with a large NAKED teen idol.
    Instead we got into a small car with a large, nerdily-dressed teen idol. To my great, great shame, it was the first time I had looked at the Divine Jazzy D and thought he looked anything like Divine. He actually looked rather cute in a checked shirt and woollen tank-top that was a bit too small for him, and Dean’s beloved 501s. 
    Then he opened his mouth and ruined the whole image.
    ‘So where are we going, laydeeeeeeez?’
    Thank Newton I’m not driving, I thought, as Aggie tried to put the car in gear, accidentally touched Jazzy’s knee, and squealed like a seven-year-old at Halloween.
    ‘We’re going to the movies, Jason,’ I said. ‘Is it all right to call you Jason? Seeing as I know you from school and everything?’
    ‘Sure, Cat,’ he drawled. Then he turned to Aggie. ‘Who are you?’
    Aggie was incapable of speaking, driving and staring at Jazzy at the same time, so I said, ‘Jason, this is Aggie. Aggie, Jason.’ Aggie just blinked a response , like those people who can’t speak and have to use their computer to communicate. ‘Aggie, we’re taking Jason to the movies first, okay? And then we’ll see where he needs to go.’
    To be honest, it was like taking a toddler out. Jason seemed pretty spacey and didn’t much mind where we took him. Maybe he was on something. More pop-starriness, no doubt. Drugs and nekkidness. Driving round town with laydeeeeeez. They probably all did that sort of stuff all the time.
    Rank. V-W. UU.
    I made Aggie circle the cin ema a few times until the films were chucking out, which she was quite happy to do as changing gear so often meant she was brushing Jazzy’s muscly thigh with the back of her hand every few seconds. En route, we passed a billboard with the poster for the Double Vision film, Show Me TwoMorrow. Jazzy stared at it for a while, then pointed. ‘That’s me. Yeah.’
    As if we hadn’t realised who he was and he had to underline it. Bighead. Big stupid nekkid bighead, tooting his own horn. Even if he did look cute in a nerdy outfit, he was still a doofus.
    ‘Yes, Jason, that’s you,’ I said, rolling my eyes at Aggie in the mirror, but she was too busy to notice, occupied as she was by staring at her little finger which she’d accidentally left on his knee and wearing an expression somewhere between complete terror and utter joy.
    Then I spotted something which made me stare too, only just with complete terror. Dolores had just emerged from the cinema, clutching a poster and chattering wildly in a very Dolores manner, with one henna-tattooed hand grabbing onto Ferdy-Nerdy Freddie’s arm. And if Jason looked cute in a nerd outfit, Freddie was absolutely to die for, in low slung skinny jeans, a Nirvana t-shirt, and a long, slobby cardigan that could have belonged to his granddad, if his granddad was, say, Mr Abercrombie or Mr Fitch.
    ‘Now,’ I hissed to Aggie. ‘Go, go, go. Now!’
    ‘Where?’
    Where My Chemical Romance is about to put his arm around my biffle! I wanted to shout, but instead I just said, ‘Look, there’s Dolores! Let’s go say hi.’
    To her credit, especially considering the rather massive distraction in the passenger seat on her left, Aggie did a very good job of navigating her way between disgruntled cinema employees and their ten year old nieces, daughters, and next-door-neighbours,