confused?
James smiled at Lorie, then wrinkled his nose as he took in her dress. âDo you have a purple frack? â
â Dat. â Emilyâs tone took on a chastising edge. âLorie is in mourning, remember? Her father passed a few weeks ago.â
âThatâs right. Iâm sorry.â His brow puckered into a frown. âSorry about your vatter and sorry you can only wear black.â
Me and you both . âItâs okay.â Lorie smiled at James to reinforce her words. James was a kind soul whoâd been rendered childlike in ways and mannerisms after being kicked in the head by a cantankerous milk cow.
Most would say that it was Godâs will. But Lorie had a hard time believing God would want a strong and capable man like James Riehl reduced to less than he had been born to be.
Yet, Emily had brought him far when she and Elam were courting. Emily had been responsible for checking his medication and seeing that it might be doing him more harm than good. Emily was the one who encouraged him to go to church and get back into the act of living. Because of Emily, James and Joy now had a sweet baby girl James insisted on naming Lavender. Despite his injury, he had a new start to his old life.
And Emily could help her, too.
âEmily,â she said her name where only her friend could hear. âWill you call Luke for me again?â She hadnât meant to ask the question. She had told Jonah that she was done with trips to Tulsa and all the secrets they revealed. But she couldnât stop the words.
âOf course. Jah. â
One more time. Just one more trip to the assisted living center. One more visit with the ladies at the front desk and the woman who was her grandmother but didnât even know her name. Just one more trip to answer a few more of the questions haunting her, then she was done with this for good.
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âYou what?â
âJonah, I donât appreciate your tone. Now please sit back down and stop yelling at me.â
Jonah threw himself into the swing beside her. âIâm not yelling. Amish men donât yell.â
âDonât raise your voice then.â She knew he was going to be angry with her. That was the exact reason why she chose to tell him in the park. He couldnât raise too much of a fuss in the center of town.
âYou said you werenât going back there, Lorie. I donât understand why youâve changed your mind.â
How could she explain it where he could understand? âThese secrets,â she started, hoping he could see her point of view. âTheyâre like a cancer eating up my insides. The only way I can stop it is to know the truth.â
âYou know the truth.â Jonahâs tawny-colored eyes begged her to let it drop. She would do almost anything for him, but this was something she had to do for herself.
âMy father wasnât who he said he was. What does that say about me?â
âIt doesnât change who you are.â
âDoesnât it?â
He took her hands into his and stared into her eyes. âItâs not going to end until you put a stop to it.â
âI wish it was that easy,â she whispered into the wind.
âIt is.â
She shook her head. âIf it was, I wouldnât have all these questions.â
âThatâs something you have to work out for yourself. Pray about it.â
Lorie stood on suddenly restless feet. âI have prayed, but I have no answers, only more questions.â
âDonât go looking for the devil, Lorie,â Jonah quoted.
But she wasnât looking for trouble or temptation. She just needed some firm ground to set her feet upon.
âHowâs this going to look for your baptism instruction?â
âHow can I continue to learn if I donât know who I am anymore?â
âYouâre Lorie Kauffman. You always have been. You always will be.â
She shook her