Free Lorie's Heart by Amy Lillard Page B

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    James smiled at Lorie, then wrinkled his nose as he took in her dress. “Do you have a purple frack? ”
    â€œ Dat. ” Emily’s tone took on a chastising edge. “Lorie is in mourning, remember? Her father passed a few weeks ago.”
    â€œThat’s right. I’m sorry.” His brow puckered into a frown. “Sorry about your vatter and sorry you can only wear black.”
    Me and you both . “It’s okay.” Lorie smiled at James to reinforce her words. James was a kind soul who’d been rendered childlike in ways and mannerisms after being kicked in the head by a cantankerous milk cow.
    Most would say that it was God’s will. But Lorie had a hard time believing God would want a strong and capable man like James Riehl reduced to less than he had been born to be.
    Yet, Emily had brought him far when she and Elam were courting. Emily had been responsible for checking his medication and seeing that it might be doing him more harm than good. Emily was the one who encouraged him to go to church and get back into the act of living. Because of Emily, James and Joy now had a sweet baby girl James insisted on naming Lavender. Despite his injury, he had a new start to his old life.
    And Emily could help her, too.
    â€œEmily,” she said her name where only her friend could hear. “Will you call Luke for me again?” She hadn’t meant to ask the question. She had told Jonah that she was done with trips to Tulsa and all the secrets they revealed. But she couldn’t stop the words.
    â€œOf course. Jah. ”
    One more time. Just one more trip to the assisted living center. One more visit with the ladies at the front desk and the woman who was her grandmother but didn’t even know her name. Just one more trip to answer a few more of the questions haunting her, then she was done with this for good.
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    â€œYou what?”
    â€œJonah, I don’t appreciate your tone. Now please sit back down and stop yelling at me.”
    Jonah threw himself into the swing beside her. “I’m not yelling. Amish men don’t yell.”
    â€œDon’t raise your voice then.” She knew he was going to be angry with her. That was the exact reason why she chose to tell him in the park. He couldn’t raise too much of a fuss in the center of town.
    â€œYou said you weren’t going back there, Lorie. I don’t understand why you’ve changed your mind.”
    How could she explain it where he could understand? “These secrets,” she started, hoping he could see her point of view. “They’re like a cancer eating up my insides. The only way I can stop it is to know the truth.”
    â€œYou know the truth.” Jonah’s tawny-colored eyes begged her to let it drop. She would do almost anything for him, but this was something she had to do for herself.
    â€œMy father wasn’t who he said he was. What does that say about me?”
    â€œIt doesn’t change who you are.”
    â€œDoesn’t it?”
    He took her hands into his and stared into her eyes. “It’s not going to end until you put a stop to it.”
    â€œI wish it was that easy,” she whispered into the wind.
    â€œIt is.”
    She shook her head. “If it was, I wouldn’t have all these questions.”
    â€œThat’s something you have to work out for yourself. Pray about it.”
    Lorie stood on suddenly restless feet. “I have prayed, but I have no answers, only more questions.”
    â€œDon’t go looking for the devil, Lorie,” Jonah quoted.
    But she wasn’t looking for trouble or temptation. She just needed some firm ground to set her feet upon.
    â€œHow’s this going to look for your baptism instruction?”
    â€œHow can I continue to learn if I don’t know who I am anymore?”
    â€œYou’re Lorie Kauffman. You always have been. You always will be.”
    She shook her