Free Lorie's Heart by Amy Lillard

talking it out with someone. It wasn’t the Amish way, to share feelings so readily, but she felt as if she might explode from all her swirling and churning emotions.
    â€œI started painting again,” she said, staring out over the green pasture.
    â€œReally?”
    â€œ Jah. ” Though Caroline knew of her secret painting, Lorie had never let anyone—not even her closest friends—see her efforts.
    â€œOf course, you have.” Caroline patted her shoulder reassuringly. “You’ve been through so much.”
    â€œI have a grandmother living in Tulsa.” The words escaped her like the bubbles of a shaken soda. She turned as Caroline blinked, her eyes widening. Her freind was normally calm and collected, but Lorie could tell even this surprised her. “My father had a tattoo, a car, and a mother he never told me about.”
    â€œOh, Lorie.” The warm weight of Caroline’s arm settled around her. Lorie leaned her head onto her friend’s shoulder, needing that moment of comfort. “What are you going to do?” Caroline’s words hummed through her.
    â€œI don’t know.” She straightened and fought back the tears of frustration and helplessness that seemed so close to the surface these days. “She’s got some problems with her memory. Sometimes she doesn’t remember where she is. I don’t think she will be able to tell me anything about my father.”
    â€œMaybe that’s God’s way of telling you that it’s time to concentrate on the future.”
    â€œMaybe,” Lorie murmured in return. The future . . . joining the church, marrying Jonah, learning to live with all the secrets her father kept.
    But how was she supposed to look forward when it seemed as if the past kept calling to her?
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    Lorie swayed with the horse’s steady gait as she rode next to Jonah on the way home. He was quiet and had been since they started on their drive, but she could tell that he had something on his mind.
    â€œEveryone’s talking about you going to Tulsa with Luke.”
    Lorie whipped around to stare at him. Jonah’s gaze was glued to the road ahead.
    â€œHow does anyone even know about this?”
    He shrugged one shoulder. “Some ex-Amish who knows Luke said something to someone in Bishop Treger’s district. You know how these things get around.”
    She did. For all the talk on the sins of gossip, it seemed to be a popular pastime in Wells Landing. “Do they know why I went?”
    â€œI haven’t heard for sure, but I don’t think so.”
    Lorie wilted in relief. The last thing she needed was for everyone in town to know about her Englisch grandmother. It was only a hop and a jump from there to her father’s deception. She couldn’t allow her father’s memory to be tainted.
    â€œYou’ve got to be more careful,” Jonah admonished.
    Lorie couldn’t find fault in his criticism. This was an important summer for her. The district would be watching everything she did. Especially since she wasn’t attending her own church’s baptism instruction. One mess-up and it could ruin her chances of joining the church this summer.
    â€œI’m not going back,” she said. Until that moment she hadn’t made the decision. But Caroline was right—everyone was right. It was time to look to the future. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve been hard to understand lately.”
    â€œIt’s allrecht. ” Jonah cast a small look her way, a smile tugging at his lips. It was the first smile she had seen from him in weeks. Her trials had taken their toll on him as well. It was time to straighten up, fly right as the Englisch said, and get down to the business of going forward.

Chapter Six
    But the questions remained, just below the surface like a crafty fish—almost invisible, but there all the same.
    As much as Lorie wanted to forget all about it and