Free Zombie Elementary by Howard Whitehouse

he had a—”
    He had a leg.
    “Oh my gosh, Honor! Where is he now?”
    “He was in the yard a few minutes ago,” Honor replied.
    Yes, he was there when I came in. Only he didn’t have the severed zombie leg. The one with the Converse tennis shoe. “What happened to the leg, Honor? Did you throw it away before you got home?”
    Maybe I could save it for Mr. O’Hara. If his BURP science people can really cure the zombies, it would be tough for one to be without a leg ’cause my dog ran off with it.
    “Uh, he dropped it in the bushes across the street. I think. Maybe.”
    I ran downstairs. I had to find the leg and save it for BURP. Wrap it in foil and hide it in the freezer, maybe? But I could never explain that to Dad when he went looking for leftovers.
    I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t just leave it in theneighbor’s yard. See, I didn’t think I had knocked out the zombie who owned the leg. When I was, uh, dealing with the zeds, I don’t think he was among them. Did zombies come looking for their own body parts?
    Jermaine would know, but he’d gone home. No time to call him.
    I went through the front door. Dad was working in the flower beds. I looked across the street. Nothing to see. I mean, there were bushes and stuff, but no leg sticking out of them.
    I could have gone poking around with a stick. If I had a stick, which I didn’t.
    Plus my dad would have asked what I was up to. The neighbors would come out and yell at me.
    Sorry, Mr. Zollinger, I’m looking for a zombie leg! I think I lost it over here!
    Didn’t think so.
    Then I heard muffled barking. It was the sound Snuffles makes when he’s got something in his mouth.
    Oh.

27
    He was at the side of our house , where Dad couldn’t see him. I could. I walked over to him, real slow. The severed leg was stuck between his jaws, the tennis shoe facing down. I guess that’s the sensible way to hold it, I dunno.
    “Give it here, boy!”
    He dropped the leg. “Good boy!”
    I didn’t want to pick it up.
    I picked it up anyway. Just with one finger and my thumb.
    Eeeeewwwww!!!!!!!
    So, what was I gonna do with it now? I panicked.
    I ran to the far end of the yard, where our house backs up to a wooded lot. I threw the leg as far as I could. It was a real good throw, and I got some distance on it. Snuffy took off like a shot into the woods.
    About thirty seconds later, I had the severed leg again. My dog had dropped it right at my feet. Dang.
    I wondered if I could bury it in the yard.

KYLE:
But you figured out not to, right?
LARRY:
Right.
KYLE:
Good thinking. So you saved it for Mr. O’Hara?
LARRY:
I was pretty shaken up and Honor was crying and I couldn’t say anything to Mom and Dad. I forgot all about taking it to Mr. O’Hara, I guess that would have been the right thing to do.
KYLE:
You did something else?

    My dad was burning yard trash over by the shed where he keeps the mower and all the gardening stuff. My mom always tells him to watch the fire incase it, you know, gets out of control and sets the shed on fire. He never takes any notice. He was out front working on his roses. Good.
    I took two good-sized bits of wood and picked up the leg. I shoved it way down into the bonfire. I mean, way down. Mr. Snuffles whined, like I had taken his bone away or something. Which I guess I did. He squirmed. I held him by the collar.
    After a while the smell from the fire changed to, like, hot dogs or something.
    I went back into the house to check on Honor. After I washed my hands, I mean. I washed ’em real good.
    She’d stopped crying. “I’m sorry, Larry! I just wanted to hunt zombies too. Like you and Jermaine and Francine.”
    I told her it was okay, but maybe she should wait until she’s older. Maybe nine, I dunno.
    After a while, I heard Dad’s voice.
    “Hey! Marjorie! Was someone barbecuing tonight? Something sure smells good!”

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    It had been a long day , what with church and the cheerleaders and all those zeds in the park and